Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the Gilberts!

But let's be honest.  This picture does a much better job of capturing our reality . . . Ava being silly and Grayson focused on the task of "fighting bad guys."   This is our {joy-filled} life!

I need to ask you, my dear friends, to count this as my Christmas card {again} this year . . . and to not take us off your mailing list!  We just LOVE getting Christmas cards in the mail and seeing updated pictures of all our friends and family!  I've vowed that next year we will send out something that can actually go on your fridge {and we actually already made provision for it in our 2014 budget . . . I'm serious about making it happen!}.

2013 . . . what a roller coaster!  Major ups, major downs, and even the in between has been quite a ride.

Obviously Chad's mom's health has been the focus of much of this year.  It has been a heavy thing for our hearts to see her in so much pain, to walk through the fears of a transplant, to care for and encourage her in a much longer recovery than we ever expected, and to find ourselves back where we began, waiting for another transplant.

This year has also been the hardest on our family physically.  Chad had a long 6 weeks of recovery after the transplant and then has closed out the year with a case of shingles and the flu.  Bleh!  And in the middle of all that, I had the hardest first trimester I've experienced that included 8 weeks of all day nausea and exhaustion.  Whew!

But as I said, these hard times have also been intermingled with glorious moments and great joy . . .

•  In August, Chad celebrated 5 years as pastor of Edgewater!  We can't even put into words what a blessing it is to be a part of this faith family, especially considering the grace and love that has been poured out to our family during such a hard year.

• We began "For Better, For Worse, For the Gospel" as a monthly time to invest in newlywed couples and to consider together how the Gospel speaks to all aspects of our marriages.  We can only hope this time in the Word and in discussion has blessed the other couples as much as it has blessed us!  Our marriage has certainly been strengthened as we've talked through what we've learned through the years {mostly the hard way!}.

• After a heart transformation in how we are walking in faith regarding our family, we found out in August that Baby #3 is on the way!  We are overjoyed and so grateful for the grace of this new little one in our lives.  {And we are excited to find out next week if Ava and Grayson will be getting the little brother they are both hoping for!}  Our hearts are still aching as we wait for Easton, but we are trusting in God's sovereignty and perfect timing for EACH child He chooses to bless us with!

•  Ava started Kindergarten this year and is in. her. element.  She loves her school, her teacher, her friends and is learning so much!  We've loved seeing God open doors for new friendships as we seek to make disciples in the areas of life He has us in each day.  Mommy and Grayson have also enjoyed the one-on-one time that we've never had before . . . he's such a wild mix of adventurous boy and compassionate sweetheart!

• Chad and I celebrated 10 years of marriage in July!  It sounds cliche, but we are more in love now than we could have ever thought possible on our wedding day.  The last 10 years have been quite an adventure of faith . . . but our story has been written by our God who knows how to lavish great gifts on His children.

  We are so blessed!

We are ending 2013 full of joy and with great hope.  

In the last month, I have experienced a revival of joy in my relationship with the kids that has breathed new life into my soul and changed our family.  I've also been learning about living a life of thanksgiving . . . a study that is sure to continue to transform my heart and family!

We are waiting for official word of Mrs. Tina's spot on the liver and kidney transplant list.  It is likely that another surgery could be very soon.  While this news is overwhelming, it is also full of HOPE.  We have great hope for these transplants to go well and for Mrs. Tina to recover and finally get to enjoy the quality of life she lost long ago.  Please continue to pray with us for her health, continued strong faith, and opportunities for proclamation of the Gospel that is sustaining her and our whole family!

We pray you have a worshipful Christmas as you are grace-struck by the Lord, King, and Savior who came as a little baby to save those who could never deserve His love!

 Just for fun . . . here are a few more of our family pics!

  

Happy Birthday Grayson!

My sweet Grayson is three years old today!

I am overflowing with gratitude as I thank the Father for giving us this precious boy.  Three years have flown by {although I won't lie . . . we've had some LONG days in there!} and I'm in awe of the little man he has become.

It seems like just yesterday I was snuggling him for the first time!

My boy was teeny tiny and so stinkin adorable!

Six month cuteness right there!

First Birthday

Second Birthday

Third Birthday

I don't have time to write about all the ways that Grayson brings such joy to our family.  Just take a look at that smile . . . how could we be anything but full of joy?! 

I'd like to think he is a mama's boy, but he's got this strong daddy connection too {which I love!}.  If you ask him whose boy he is, he'll quickly tell you he's mommy's AND daddy's boy!  And he better stay that way!

He is hilarious, especially now that he is talking more and his personality is being unleashed in full force!

 

But at the same time he is quick to show a heart of compassion and tenderness . . . even to his big sister!

This is one of my all time favorite pictures!  We are so blessed!

Another favorite!  Grayson has some great little buddies and has surprised me with how well he has done being a good friend.  So much so that when he looked over and saw Luke upset, he just followed suit . . . solidarity with his bros!

One of the best things this last year has been watching the BOY in him come out strong and with no coaxing needed!  

He's learning to fish with Papa T.  {I love this picture because I think he looks like a little Paw Paw just fishing away!}

He loves to get dirty!

He is fascinated with firemen and policemen, especially since we know real life ones!  And he's finally gotten some boy dress up stuff so he can look the part as he "fights the bad guys!"

Trucks, tractors, trains, and his new fire truck . . . entertainment for hours!

We've also delved into the world of superheroes . . . Spiderman and Batman are his favorites!  He's never seen the cartoons so he's had a hard time grasping what they actually do, but "protecting people and fighting bad guys" has given him enough of an idea to keep him entertained!

Like I said, we are just overwhelmed with God's grace for putting this little guy in our family.  He makes me laugh every day, still snuggles with me, gives the best hugs, and will play hard like wild little boys should!  He is learning so much, way beyond the numbers and ABCs {which let's face it . . . he's a second born so we're a little behind in this area!}, but about God and family and love and friends and serving and selflessness and giving thanks.  We consider it a privilege to be the ones to teach him!

Psalm 138 is my prayer for my sweet Grayson . . .

I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;

before the gods I sing your praise;

I bow down toward your holy temple

and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness,

for you have exalted above all things 

your name and your word.

Happy Birthday Buddy!

5 Things That Strengthen Our Marriage

Marriage is no joke.  Having a God-honoring, healthy, and joyful marriage is just plain hard work.  Lots of people nowadays just give up and live with the kind of marriage that is far less than God offers or end the marriage all together.  Both are tragedies.

Chad and I certainly don't have a perfect marriage, but we are intentional about pursuing what I described above . . . a marriage that gives the world a picture of how Christ loves the Church, a marriage that is full of selfless love and infectious joy, and a marriage that is worth all the hard work we put into it.

As I've thought about our marriage this week, I thought I'd share five things that we are intentional about doing in order to strengthen our marriage.  Take it or leave it . . . I'm just praying it will encourage someone to keep at the hard work or will give someone a new idea to breathe new life into their marriage!

1.  High Interaction

We are so blessed.  As a pastor, Chad's days are flexible enough to allow us to interact during the day.  He comes home for lunch most days.  We also text, call, and email during the day.  Now don't start thinking we are freaks that have to speak every two minutes . . . we certainly don't go overboard!  But staying connected even throughout the day has helped us stay connected in general.  A text with a word of encouragement, a voicemail letting him know how I'm praying for him, an email thanking me for something, a few minutes over lunch to catch up and laugh together . . . all of these keep our hearts connected.  I realize that most people don't have the luxury of lunches together, but a few emails and texts can go a long way!

One thing we also recently started is "Couch Time."  8:30 pm on as many nights as possible will find us face to face on our couch.  We found that the nights were getting away from us so quickly . . . dinner, play time, bath time, bed time, getting a few things done . . . before we knew it we were ready to pass out and hadn't even stopped to really connect.  We now aim to have the kids in bed for 7:30, take an hour to read or work on a few things, and then no matter what still needs to be done, we stop from 8:30 to 9 to just talk. I look forward to this time all day!

2.  Same Page

"Intentional" has been my buzzword for the past 6 months.  With life being so busy and full, I was feeling the need to have some way to be extremely intentional about our life.  Then I read this post by my friend Shauna Pilgreen where she shared about their family 'playbook" and knew I had found the answer! 

Chad and I have spent the last two months talking through and writing out our family playbook.  We discussed our values and God's call on our lives.  The problem is that often our values aren't actually reflected in our calendars . . . they can fill up with good things and leave no room for the great things.  Our playbook has become sort of our filter . . . if an opportunity arises, but doesn't fit into our main values during this season of life, then we feel the confidence and freedom to say no.  Boundaries are so beautiful! :)  

Being on the same page with our values, what we want to spend our time doing, and the vision that God has given us during this season has been so refreshing and exciting for us.  We are being far more intentional in the things that matter than we were before!

3.  Guarding Our Mouths/Speaking Life

Again, we certainly aren't perfect in this area, but we do realize the gravity of how what comes out of our mouths effects our marriage and family. {Matt. 12:33-36}

We are learning to be very intentional about what we say . . . 

About each other . . . We do not tear the other down when we are talking with any one else.  Even when being authentic with close friends about our marriage{because it isn't perfect!}, we speak with humility and grace and always towards reconciliation because we realize that we aren't perfect either.

About other people . . . Gossip and negativity about others just brings death into a conversation and a marriage.  If what I say isn't bringing grace to the person listening, then I shouldn't say it {Eph. 4:29}.  Harping on the negative and venting just ends up getting us both worked up and usually worse off than when the conversation began.  We can be honest about hard relationships or frustrations, but it needs to be done with discretion and grace and the response needs to be one that points in the direction of forgiveness rather than condemnation.  {Easier said than done, I know!}  We also don't speak in inappropriate ways about others . . . whether it be comparing each other to someone else or flattery, especially of the opposite sex {the enemy will use that in a heartbeat}.

To each other . . . When I talk to Chad, I literally have the choice to speak words of Life or words of death, love or hate, truth or lies, grace or condemnation.  I have to be intentional about speaking words that build him up, point him to Christ, and counter what the enemy and the world may be saying to him.  This is hard work, but is one of the greatest ways I can love him.

4.  Getaways

I don't know any married couple who would argue with me here!  Having a getaway . . . no work, school, kids, distractions . . . can breathe such life into a frazzled, disconnected, or stressed relationship.  

Our goal is to have a two-night getaway at least once a year.  How wonderful if it could be more, but for most people that just isn't possible.  But most of our getaways are much simpler than a mini-vacation.  We have lunch dates, coffee dates, a walk in the park, a once a month date night.  These aren't usually fancy at all, but even just a few hours of uninterrupted time together does wonders to keep us connected and to deepen our love.  I never thought dates would be a tough sell, but when you have kids and a busy schedule they can easily get left behind.  Don't let it happen! 

5.  Talking About God

Thank you Captain Obvious, right?!  You'd think that for followers of Christ this would be a no-brainer and not something we have to work at, but you'd be wrong.  When you don't have a lot of time each day to actually talk, it is amazing what can fill up that time.

Last year some time, Chad was reading Ephesians 5 and asked me what he could do to love me better.  I gave it some real thought and realized that I wanted us to be more intentional about sharing what God was speaking to us.  I'm a verbal processor so if I'm learning something, I'm probably going to tell Chad about it just as a way to continue working it out in my heart and mind {this is why Chad gets up waaaay before me so that he can have time with Jesus in peace!}.  

Chad isn't this way.  He writes in his journal and he processes and then doesn't feel the need to talk it out.  It's okay that we are different in this, but it left me feeling like I didn't know what he was learning or how he was growing in the Lord.  I heard his sermons, but didn't know beyond that what God was dealing with in his heart.  

I asked Chad to try to be intentional about sharing and he immediately began to love me in this way.  Such a blessing!  We have grown closer simply because we are more intentional about sharing heart things when we have a few minutes to talk.  And incidentally this also helps with the whole guarding your mouth issue because there isn't time to vent or gossip when you're talking about what you read in the Bible that morning!

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So there it is.  We obviously do more than this to pursue a God-honoring marriage, but these are the five that have been on my mind this week!

What are you intentionally doing to strengthen your marriage?

My Blessings :)

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We. Are. So. Blessed.

And beyond excited about another little one joining our family!

The night we told Ava, it took her an hour to go to sleep because she was so hyped up and kept coming out to tell me that she really wanted me to have a girl!  I have a feeling God will hear some sweet prayers from my Ava girl over the next few months begging for a little sister!  Grayson has been so sweet too and is already putting his little hands on my belly and praying for the baby.
Melt. My. Heart. :)

Some of you may be shocked at this news . . . you aren't alone!  Shock has been the reaction of most people who have heard the news.  After all, aren't we adopting?  Yes, we are still in the process of adopting Easton!  We'll just have another little one join our family before Easton gets home!  Because of the incredibly long wait times, our agency recently changed their policy about pregnancy or concurrent adoptions.  We will continue to move up on the waitlist, but won't be able to receive a referral for Easton until baby #3 is at least one year old.  We were already preparing ourselves for another two years waiting on Easton so this little one doesn't actually change the time table too much.

In June, I wrote an adoption update and confessed my desire to manipulate the whole process.  Thankfully, God revealed my sin and pulled me out of that pit.

This new little one is not a result of my selfish manipulation, but of divine revelation, heart transformation, and God's sovereign grace.

{I know how the evil one likes to divide Jesus' Bride so I'm going to give a little disclaimer before I begin:  I'm going to share what God has done in our hearts over the last few months.  It is our story.  I'm not holding a stone.  There are no accusations.  I am not setting up our family as a new law or a new standard.  There is no condemnation, comparison or judging.  There are biblical principles and truths that I'll share that should be an anchor for all of us, but how that plays out in our lives may look very different.  I'm humbled and honored to share how the Father has spoken specifically to us!}

Divine Revelation

It all started when Chad ended one of his sermons with the question, "Do you want the Father's plans or your plans?"  This question haunted me.  I couldn't even see yet what area of my life God was touching with the Word that day, but it wouldn't let go of me.

At this same time, I was teaching Job and then Ecclesiastes in Sunday School.  As I studied, I saw the thread of God's sovereignty and His goodness exalted all through these two books.  I knew these were realities about God that I believed, but began wondering if I was really walking in them.

I also read an article about a woman who was pregnant with triplets, but chose to have two aborted.  A few of her reasons were that having triplets would have a negative affect on her career and that she would have to start shopping at Costco.  I was appalled at the selfishness that in her mind justified ending the lives of these two gifts from God.

All of this set the stage for God to speak.  Sin by it's nature is deceptive and we can so often be blind to our own sin.  God was ready to open my eyes.

You see, my motto regarding children has been summed up in two phrases . . . "We'll take it one at a time" and "I don't want to drive a bus."  Meaning . . . when I feel like I can't handle another one, we'll stop {which is laughable because the truth is that on my own I'm not enough to handle even one!}.  And our time to stop will definitely be before we have so many kids that they can't fit in our van.  I think large families are beautiful and all the ones I've know are amazing, but it just terrifies me. {Just being real.}

So a few days later we had lunch with some of our best friends.  I shared about the article and how shocked I was at the blatant selfishness that led this woman to abort two of her children.  Keith said, "But don't we often do the same thing?"  The conversation continued, but I was done.  The veil had been lifted.  I got home and wept as the Lord spoke gently, but powerfully to my heart.

"How is your heart any different from that woman whose story grieved you so?  She murders.  You refuse.  Neither of you are open to the blessings I may have for you.  Neither of you are seeking My plans.  You are putting your selfish desires above My desires for you.  You are not really walking in the Truths you say you believe."

God's divine revelation cut to the very heart of how I viewed children and how we were not seeking the Lord's plans regarding our family.

Heart Transformation

This the step I so often miss.  God speaks.  My toes are stepped on.  And then I keep on walking.  But when God speaks, the conversation is not complete without heart transformation.  There were only two options . . . obedience or disobedience . . . and though I knew where it would end, I put up quite a fight.

I wrestled with this for a week.  I'm talking mind consumed, tears flowing, laying it down then taking it back up kind of wrestling.  I wanted a middle ground.  Somewhere between full surrender and disobedience.  Somewhere that left me with a little bit of control so that I could ease the fears that raged.  Chad said that I wanted disobedience that looked like faith.  Yes, I'll take some of that. :)

God even gave me confirmation of what He had spoken in a way that only He could get the credit.  The day after my eyes were opened, Inward had a night of prayer and a time where we were to seek God and then speak a Word to each other.  My dear friend Christi said that she had spoken a word to another friend that day, but somehow felt that it was for me too . . . Be open to something other than your plan.  Okay God, I get it!  But even with that confirmation, I continued to wrestle.

I wanted some assurances before I walked in faith {which makes my walking not actually in faith at all}.  I realized that as I was desiring to trust, I was also asking God to promise not to bring me to a place of desperation, to a place that is terrifying and overwhelming, to a place where I could never be enough.  What loving Father would say yes to a request like that?  That place is exactly where He wants me to be . . . a place of desperation for Him, of moment by moment dependence on Him, of faith in His Sovereignty and Goodness, and of utter reliance on His uninterrupted Grace in my life.

When it finally came down to it, I had to chose to believe and walk in what God says is True.

• He knows what is best for me.  I don't.
• He is Sovereign over all things.
• He works for my good and for His glory.
• He knows how I still need to be transformed and how that needs to happen. {Children are mighty instruments in the Lord's hands.  They change you in a thousand ways that you need to be changed.  Can I get an amen?}
• He is worthy of my worship, trust, and obedience.
• Children are a blessing from the Lord.  

I surrendered.  We surrendered.  {I was praying and processing all this with Chad, but he got to this point before me.}  Finally letting go of our plans was scary, but so freeing.  I would have never said that my precious kids were a burden, but until then I don't know that I had ever truly embraced them as the blessing that they are.  Chad noticed a change in me immediately . . . more joy, more patience, more purpose.

Chad changed immediately too.  As we decided to begin diligently seeking the Lord regarding His plans for our family, I told Chad that I was trusting him to lead us in this walk of faith.  The responsibility drove him to his knees and brought a new level of intimacy in our marriage as we prayed for direction.  We decided that we would let the Lord . . . not culture, not fear, not self . . . determine how we walked in this area.  Chad pointed out that children were the only blessing that we had essentially asked God to limit.  We never ask Him to hold off the blessings of health or provision, but we had done just that with one of the greatest blessings He pours out.

God's Sovereign Grace

We had such joy this past month as we were trusting in God's plan.  I'll be honest . . . I expected to get pregnant right away because that is how it has happened with all three of my pregnancies.  So when I took a test and it was negative, I was shocked.  And disappointed.  I had actually found myself hoping.  {I confessed my disappointment to my friend, Keri, and she pointed out what a testimony that was of God's work in my heart over the last month!}

We prayed and thanked God for His sovereignty and His perfect plans.  We shared this whole journey with our "For Better, For Worse, For the Gospel" group of young married couples and told them that I wasn't pregnant.  And then a few days later we found out that we were wrong!

Oh the grace!  We are so humbled and full of gratitude that God would chose to bless two broken and often blind followers like us with another precious one.

I'm not gonna lie though, I can still be overwhelmed at the thought of what lies ahead.  We don't have a clue what God's plan will look like for us.  But rather than focusing on all the unknowns, we are choosing to hold tight to the One we do know.  He is the Author of our story and it will be a better story than we could ever write for ourselves.  We'll just have to continually make sure that we haven't again taken the pen out of His hands.

Birthday Girl

 How is it possible for my baby girl to be five already?

Just yesterday she looked like this . . .

1st Birthday

2nd Birthday

3rd Birthday

4th Birthday

And now she's 5!

 

We have had a week-long celebration of her birthday, ending today with her getting to choose our dinner and dessert spot.  She enjoyed her favorite pasta at East of Italy and froyo at Orange Leaf . . . no shocker there!

{With a fun ride in a shopping cart in between!}

 Yesterday we also celebrated a special "girl's day" with Mommy and Lili!

We had a "fancy" lunch at La Madeleine.  Getting to drink iced tea might have been the highlight of her day . . . my girl is easy to impress!

Ava also got to pick out a new outfit at Carters.

Then we let the guys join the fun at the movies to see Planes.  This was Grayson's first time in a theater and only Ava's second.  They loved it!

Mommy and Daddy got our Ava girl something special to wear to school!  Grammy and Paw Paw also got her a Saints jersey and new shoes so she is set!

 It is amazing how much Ava has grown in the last year . . . not so much in size . . . she is still under 30 lbs!  

But she has matured in her desire to learn {she is LOVING school}, in compassion, in creativity, in responsibility, in generosity, in seeing and responding to the world around her, and in love for God and for others. 

Psalm 96 continues to be my prayer for Ava . . .

Sing to the Lord, bless his name;

tell of his salvation from day to day.

Declare his glory among the nations,

his marvelous works among all the peoples!

Ava is a joy and an absolute blessing to our family.  To God be the glory for this precious life entrusted to us!

First Day of School

I've cried some tears in the last few days as I've gotten stuff ready for my baby to go to school.  Not huge meltdowns, but just a general weepiness where tears have spilled over at the mere thought of backpacks, pencils, and new friends.  And poor Chad.  Ava made him a little card with Ava and Dad written on it and he fell to pieces. :)  It's no wonder I had several friends texting today asking how MY first day of school was going . . . everyone who knows Ava knows she'll do great . . . mommy and daddy are the basketcases!

Even with days of overwhelming emotions, we were surprisingly dry-eyed today.  It definitely helped that the only moment of hesitation from Ava was when I told her it was time to get out of bed {1.5 hours before her normal wake up time}!  I had made a "Ready for School?" chart of all Ava needed to do to get ready and she rocked it.  {Chad said that's because she is a little ME . . . I can't help it if we both love lists!}  I am going to have to wake her up a few minutes earlier tomorrow though . . . I didn't anticipate her desire to talk through every aspect of the chart before actually doing it!

One of the main reasons Ava was so excited to go was how God answered her prayer for her teacher.  She had an assessment last week where she met all four of the K teachers.  After it was over the only thing she would tell me was that she wanted to be in class with the lady with the dark, curly hair.  I had no idea which teacher this was so we've been praying for a week for a teacher with specific hair!  :)

We tried to use it as a teaching moment for Ava about prayer.  Letting her know that it is fine to hope and to ask God, but in the end we have to trust that God knows what is best for her.  If she didn't get that teacher, then it was because God had a purpose for her in another class.  {What I didn't expect was how much I needed that reminder about trusting the plans of my Father.  Thankful He used the prayers of my sweet girl to speak to my heart as well!}

I went to K orientation yesterday and found out quickly that Ava was in Mrs. Shapiro's class.  The only problem was that I still didn't know who Mrs. Shapiro was!  I waited anxiously for the introductions and then about ended up a puddle of tears when the lady with the dark, curly hair introduced herself as Mrs. Shapiro!  There has been some major praising going on for God answering that prayer!  I also had a moment to share with Mrs. Shapiro that Ava had been praying to be in her class.  She said that it made her day!

A little placemat to get a smile on her face so early in the morning!

Here's my girl ready for her first day!

Brand new backpack on!

Honoring her request for a silly picture. :)

Her cute little cubby!

Right after this picture, I told her that we were going to leave.  Okay, she said.  And that was that.

I don't remember my kindergarten class looking this cool.

Ava had a great first day!  When I asked about her favorite part, she said that she couldn't narrow it down.  I'd call that a success!

I interviewed Ava yesterday about starting school.  These are her exact answers.  I love my girl so much!

First Day of School Interview

Grade:  Kindergarten

School:  Lusher

Teacher:  Mrs. Shapiro & Mrs. Jeannette

Height/Weight:  3 ft. 4 in. / 28 lbs.

Most excited about:  making new friends, learning about math and science, God answering my prayers to be in Mrs. Shapiro's class

Most nervous about:  Nothing.  I was nervous about my teacher, but God answered my prayer.

Things I love:  to pretend, to imagine, riding bikes, daddy/daughter dates, candy

Favorite Food:  peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, red beans & rice

Favorite Show:  Curious George

Favorite Color:  Yellow

When I grow up I want to be:  a nurse and a doctor

Bible verse for the year:  Matthew 22:37-29

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it:  You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

 I couldn't leave out the other half of the story.  Grayson is now going to have to get used to lots of Mommy time!  I'm looking forward to it, but I'm afraid he will be bored because clearly I'm not as fun as Ava!  I'm going to keep him doing some stuff with the homeschool group at NOBTS and have a day where he gets to hang out with his bestest friend, Luke.

So after we dropped Ava off, I took Grayson and Luke to see a fire truck and firemen that had come to do a presentation at NOBTS.  They were a little nervous, and then freaked out, and then I turned around to see this . . .

Bless.  

 I might definitely have my hands full with this cutie and his partner in crime!