Adoption Update

My last post, almost four months ago, was an adoption update that was hard to write.  This one is even harder.  But as I just read over my words from that last update, my heart was encouraged again by the unchanging character of our God who is always faithful, always good, and always right on time.  I needed my own reminder to myself as share where we are currently in this process!

First of all, we want to say thank you.  So many people have walked this journey with us and for that, we couldn’t be more grateful.  You have prayed, encouraged, given sacrificially, rejoiced with us, and mourned with us.  The impact of your faithfulness has been far-reaching in strengthening not just our family, but our faith family, friends and strangers as we’ve shared how God has been at work over the last four years.

 

This adoption journey has gone nothing like we expected when we began in 2011.  We are so thankful that God spoke clear direction at the beginning because His call has been our lifeline as this process has had major ups and downs.  In all our prayers and seeking through these years, our call to adopt a boy from Africa who is HIV positive has not changed.  We have taken seriously the warning from the life of Abraham.  He also received the promise of a child and chose to manipulate the fulfillment when the timing wasn’t as he hoped.  In all of our unexpected waiting, we have been resolved to not make a “Hagar Decision” that puts our hope in our own plans and resources rather than in God’s.

This resolve has been tested as the adoption climate in Ethiopia has slowed down drastically over the last two years.  We are grateful to be with All God’s Children International {AGCI}, which is an ethical agency, but these ethics are causing them to hit a wall within the current system of corruption in Ethiopia.  Other unethical agencies, mostly European, are paying orphanages for referrals, which is illegal but not being controlled.  Because of this, these agencies are receiving most of the referrals, especially of young and/or healthy children.  Our agency is only receiving a few referrals of older children and children with severe special needs {HIV is not considered severe}.  There have even been some agencies closing their ET programs completely because of this corruption that doesn’t look like it will be changed anytime soon.

AGCI gave families the option of staying in the ET program or switching to a program for another country.  We prayed about this option, but AGCI doesn’t have another program in Africa and we have not sensed God change the original call He gave us. 

Staying on the ET waitlist, however, does not look promising.  I asked our caseworker to shoot me straight about the future.  Her response was “I am confident that we will only be placing older children or children with severe special needs in the program.  Regardless of the program potentially closing, if you do not feel open or prepared to parent an older child then I would not put the funds or effort in to updating your homestudy.”

Our agency has a birth order rule {our adopted child must be at least 9 months younger than our youngest child} so being open to an older child is not an option for us at this point.  This was very hard news to hear, but we are thankful for the honesty that shows us how God has closed this door for now.

I’ll be honest . . . I’ve asked God many times what in the world He is doing!  But again I’m reminded of the promise of a child given to Abraham . . . a promise he didn’t see fulfilled until 25 years later. {I’m sure praying it doesn’t take that long!} We’ve received the promise so we are holding on to the truth that one day Easton will join our family.  We have no idea when or how it will happen, but on that day, when we finally hold him in our arms, I’m confident we will see how God’s plans are far greater than we could ever imagine!

One of the main reasons we have this hope is because of all we have seen God do during this journey.  He has been so faithful and much of His faithfulness has been demonstrated through you!  The provision and encouragement we have received has reminded us over and over again that God is in this.  In Numbers 14:11 God said of the Israelites, “How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them?”  We don’t want to see all that God has done and yet still choose to doubt His plans.  We believe we can trust Him and are striving to do so even as we walk into the unknown.

One of the hardest parts of this door closing is the money that we’ve already put into this process, much of which was given sacrificially from family and friends.  There is the temptation to see these gifts as lost or wasted, but nothing could be further from the truth.  God never wastes a sacrifice given to honor Him, to help His people, or to help an orphan that He cares for so deeply.  This journey has transformed our hearts and has taught us to walk in greater faith as we follow Jesus.  We pray that as you have journeyed with us, your heart has also been transformed and strengthened to walk in faith. The growth that has come from this journey is invaluable!

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Now this update may make it seem like we are handling this news with no hint of sadness or frustration.  So not true!  I have cried big tears, prayed with Chad and friends, eaten Girl Scout cookies, and cried some more.  I have felt like we were "in the game" of orphan care and have now been sidelined.  That I'm on the outside of a group that I was once a part of.  I has been lonely and discouraging.  

We've gone through all the feelings, but God has never ceased to be our firm foundation and the anchor to our souls.  So at the end of all that processing and praying, I can write this update with confidence and peace that are as real as those tears were.  We don't know God's plan for bringing Easton into our family, but we know He has one.  And that has to be enough for us right now.

We are continuing to seek God about our adoption journey and would be grateful for your continued prayers as well.  As always, we want to be completely transparent in this process.  If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask us!  Thank you again for walking with us!

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And because a blog post wouldn't be complete without pictures of my blessings . . .

 

Adoption Update

I wish that I had some really exciting news to share, but that's not the case.  Quite the opposite actually.  My heart is heavy as I type this and I confess to being just plain weary at this point in our adoption journey.
  

A little background of our journey . . .

We started the adoption process in June 2011, which seems like an eternity ago.  We were officially on the waitlist with AGCI in July 2012 to adopt an infant boy from Ethiopia.  We had been expecting a 1.5 to 2 year wait, but in March of 2012 God spoke clearly to us that we were to adopt a little boy who is HIV positive.  Because not many families are open to this special need, we started to prepare ourselves for our son coming home much sooner.

Never.  Never in a million years.  Never would I have dreamed that it would be almost 2015 and we would still be waiting for our son.

As the wait continued on long past what we expected, God was working in our hearts regarding His Truth about children, our family, His plans and whether He was really Lord of our lives in this area.  These wrestlings led to a dramatic transformation in our hearts and a practical walk of faith in obedience to His Truth.  Which led to us finding out in August 2013 that another Gilbert was on the way!

Because of the longer wait, our agency had changed their policies to allow families to do a concurrent adoption or to have another biological child.  My pregnancy with Brogan didn't stop us from continuing to move forward on the waitlist, but we knew that we wouldn't be able to accept a referral until Brogan is at least a year old.  

He just made 6 months so I've mentally been readying myself for updating all of our paperwork and getting things in order so we would be ready for that referral.

Yesterday we received an email from AGCI that changed all of that. 

The adoption climate in Ethiopia has gone from a relatively quick and smooth process, to kind of longer, to rocky, to much slower, and now to a pace that is barely moving.  Year to date, AGCI has placed 10 children with adoptive families in the Ethiopia program as compared to 35 placements in 2013 and 62 placements in 2012.

There are many reasons for this slow down, many of which I probably don't even know or understand, but a main issue has been corruption.  This is info from AGCI's email . . .

In the last two years, we have been advised that some European agencies and some U.S. based agencies are reportedly operating on a “fee for child” basis meaning that the orphanages receive a direct fee for each child referred to an agency. Consequently, these agencies seem to be receiving the majority of referrals. Obviously, this practice potentially could be fairly lucrative for orphanage directors.  AGCI cannot pay such direct, per child referral fees as per our accrediting body, the Council on Accreditation (known as COA). The Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-Country Adoption (Hague Adoption Convention) specifically prohibits the payment of fees or other consideration to release a child for adoption purposes because this is considered “child buying”. Child buying laws and regulations are vital to prevent the exploitation of children, a premise AGCI takes extremely seriously. AGCI remains firmly committed to ethical adoption practices and we know our families would want nothing less.

They are right.  We want no part in corruption or unethical practices.  But it is beyond frustrating that those who give up their integrity end up with their children home, while so many families like us keep waiting AND there are so many children waiting . . . the ultimate victims who are stuck in the middle of this whole heartbreaking slow down.

AGCI's assessment was summed up like this . . . the challenges to the adoption climate seem insurmountable at this time.

Talk about a kick in the gut.  Tears started rolling as I let these words soak in.  I'm so thankful that Chad was home so I was able to sob on his shoulder and he was able to lovingly remind me of what we know is true.

We were so thankful when we began this journey that God spoke so clearly about three things: a boy, from Africa, who is HIV positive.  I wrote this in my first blog post . . . We know it will be a hard journey and we want to be able to look back and know that we heard God speak and were led by Him alone.  I wish I wasn't so right! 

So what now?  AGCI is giving families the option of staying on the waitlist as long as you are open to special needs and know that it could still be a long wait, change countries by switching to another AGCI program, or terminate your contract if you are led to pursue a different plan.

We begged God to speak in the beginning of this whole journey and we are doing the same now {and would appreciate you joining us in that prayer!}.  We will not make a move until we hear from Him.  We have feelings about what we might should do, but we know our feelings can lead us far from the walk of faith marked out for us.  So we pray and wait.

I've been teaching Hebrews for the last few months and not only have I loved the study, but I see clearly how God has used it to prepare me for this.  The call for the original audience was to have courage to walk in faith instead of fear and to believe in the One True God and all His promises.  This Word couldn't be more timely and relevant to our lives today.  Those in Hebrews 11 were all commended for their faith, their faith in the always Faithful One.  Abraham received a promise of a child {just like we have} but had to wait 25 years to see the fulfillment.  {Oh Lord don't let it be!}  We would never have imagined that this would be the road God has for us but it doesn't mean that something has gone wrong or that God isn't faithful.  It just means that like so many things . . . His plans are different than our plans and we can't even imagine the good that God has in store for us.

Brogan was not a part of "our plan" three years ago.  There are no words for how grateful I am that God led us to obey when He revealed that His plan might look different than we thought.  I can't imagine our life without my sweet Brogan and he will forever be a testimony to us that trusting God is always, always the better way! 

After I got my tears out {you can trust God but still cry like a baby!}, I spent the rest of yesterday a little down, but just praying for faith.  I had to run home from worship to get a pacifier for Brogan and as I got back in the van I pulled out my phone.  I didn't push any buttons, but somehow music started playing.  It was Fernando Ortega's song I Will Praise Him, Still and it was God's voice right to my weary heart. 

The chorus says, "For the Lord, our God, He is strong to save
From the arms of death, from the deepest grave,
And He gave us life in His perfect will,
And by His good grace, I will praise Him, still."

In those moments, as I was reminded of the Gospel, what I claimed was this . . . If I trust God for my salvation, if I have put all my eggs in this basket . . . that He has saved me and secured my ETERNITY with Him . . . then how could I not trust Him with this?  

So there it is.  We can and will trust Him.  We will wait if He says wait, knowing that it is for the best.  We will move if He says move, knowing that He knows the perfect timing for our journey.  We will trust no matter what lies ahead, knowing that He knows our son.

We would so appreciate your prayers as we seek God!

Anniversary Giveaway!

July 3rd made one year for us officially on the waitlist for Easton.  

It also means we began this whole crazy adoption process two years ago . . . it seems to have flown by and crawled by at the same time!

These milestones are just that . . . not the end, just stops on the way.  Rather than lamenting how long the journey has been, we have the chance to look back at two years in process and one year on the waitlist and give thanks.  

If you look at any of the tabs above that give details about our adoption story, one thing becomes crystal clear . . . God has been and is at work for our good and for His glory.  

We have so many reasons to give thanks.  He {the God of the Universe} has spoken to us {an incredible thing that we often take for granted} in amazing ways to guide our steps, strengthen our faith, stretch our faith, test our obedience, and reveal more of Himself to a family who doesn't deserve to know Him at all.  He has provided every penny we've needed and blessings upon blessings that have gone above and beyond our needs.  He's been so close by the Spirit, through the Word, and through the Body as we've struggled in the wait, always gently reminding of His perfect plans that cannot be thwarted.

So we give thanks to the only One worthy and we continue to wait with much anticipation for the revealing of our precious son!

But that's not all!  We've got another major milestone happening this week . . .

July 12 is our 10 year anniversary!

I can't believe it has been 10 years.  I couldn't be more grateful for the man God chose for me, undeserving as I am for such a blessing.  I loved him when we got married, but I couldn't have anticipated the depth to which our love would grow in a decade.  Maturity, times of loss, times of great joy, kids, ministry, and most importantly, growth in our intimacy with Christ has created a love between us that is far greater, deeper, solid, selfless, and joyful than I could have ever imagined.

So to celebrate these two anniversaries, I'm doing a giveaway!

The prize is something that puts the focus on the root of why we have a thriving marriage 10 years later and why we have joy in the {long} wait for Easton . . . the Word of God.

There is absolutely nothing that has strengthen my intimacy with God and therefore strengthened every other area of my life like consistent, daily, worshipful time in the Word.  God has spoken, delighting to reveal Himself to us.  The Word transforms hearts and lives.  It is living and active, absolutely relevant to what we face in this broken world each day.  Through the Word we are equipped for every good work God has prepared in advance for us to do.  In the Word we are sharpened and refined, humbled and astonished by grace, strengthened in faith and convinced of Truth.  The Gospel is clearly proclaimed and this is a Gospel we need to preach to ourselves each day.

So I am obviously really thankful for the Bible, but my depth of love and gratitude has increased over the last few months because of one thing . . . memorizing Scripture.   

Having your daily bread in the morning is so good, but memorizing the Word is like having a constant feast before you all day.  

I can't even tell you how blessed I have been since I started memorizing in April.  Knowing the Word has protected me and sustained me, but has also readied me to be willing and able to share the Truth at a moment's notice.

I wrote a few months ago about the giveaway that I won with all the materials for a Scripture memory system.  It might not be for everyone, but I have loved it! 

 

{I'll give a basic explanation, but if you want more details you can go to my friend Shauna's blog which has a video with all the details.}

You have a box with a Daily tab, Monday through Friday tabs, and a tab for each day of the month {1-30}.  You write a verse {or verses, chapter, whatever you choose} on a notecard and it first goes behind the Daily tab.  You work on it each day until you've got it.  Then you move the notecard to one of the Weekly tabs where you'll review it once a week.  Once you feel like it is down deep, you move it to one of the Monthly tabs where you will review it once a month . . . forever!

So here's how it will look each day . . .

On the morning of my anniversary {Friday the 12th}, I'll work on each notecard that is in the Daily tab.  Then I'll review each notecard behind the Friday tab.  Then finish by reviewing all the notecards behind the 12 tab.

Make sense?  It is a simple system, but has been so good for me.  I need structure and routine, but enough flexibility to make me not get overwhelmed.  I usually have one longer passage and one or two shorter ones that I'm learning daily and I don't add another daily until I move one of those to a weekly tab.  I try to push myself, but not get so piled up that I'm jumbled and frustrated!

A big thanks to my friend, Mandi Eastwood!  She read my blog in April and not only got the materials for herself, but also got an extra of everything so I could do a giveaway!

So here's how the giveaway will work . . . Just comment on the blog or on my facebook with one of your favorite verses that you've memorized.  Easy as that!  I'll keep a list of everyone who comments and use random.org to choose the winner.  

I'll announce the winner on Friday . . . what a great way to start my anniversary! :)

Adoption Update

An adoption update is long overdue.  It hasn't been that there is nothing to share, but with all that has been going on, I just haven't had the words or the energy to write until now.

I never gave our May waitlist number {88} because we got it right before the surgery and I was freaking out focused on that front.  Little did I know that I had missed my last chance to share our waitlist number. 

We received an email from AGCI a few weeks ago letting us know that they would no longer being giving families an updated waitlist number each month.  They aren't changing their process so we are still on a big list, but we just won't be getting that number anymore.  Essentially the process is so slow and complicated by lots of factors and parameters that the waitlist number can be a little misleading and lead to confusion and discouragement.  I get that.  A countdown is good, but when your number is still huge, it isn't as exciting as you'd think it would be.  And when your number is small, you could be on the edge of your seat for months, freaking out each time the phone rings . . . not great either.  {So if anyone has a great idea of what to put on my cute little chalkboard in the kitchen that previously chronicled our countdown, let me know.}

The slowdown in a nutshell is because like anything in our world, corruption can come into something beautiful and screw things up.  Thankfully AGCI is an ethical and trustworthy agency and has an amazing team in Ethiopia committed to doing things above reproach.  Because other agencies and orphanages aren't as ethical, there is a slowdown while US and ET authorities try to sort out and get rid of corruption.

AGCI also opened up a few possibilities because of the long wait . . . switching programs, concurrent adoptions, and letting your paperwork expire until you are closer to receiving a referral.  It is good they are looking at the timelines realistically and giving families a little more freedom in the meantime.

However, none of these options are something we sense God leading us to at this time.  Since we are still high on the list, we might normally be open to letting our paperwork expire, but I knew the list of families open to HIV was smaller and so I thought we should keep our paperwork updated so we'd be ready for a referral at any time.  

We don't have access to the details of families on the list, but I only knew of a couple of families in front of us open to HIV.  I decided to email our caseworker just to see if she would give me an answer as to exactly how many open to HIV were ahead of us {I was thinking 2 or 3}.  

Seven.  Not gonna lie, that email was like a punch in the gut.  {Now before you freak out at my selfishness . . . Of course I'm thrilled that so many families are open to a positive child.  I love it.  These kiddos need families and access to life-saving medication.  I'm thankful for how families just like ours are obeying God's call to be open to little ones that some in our world would disregard.}

But the difference between three and seven in the adoption world could be months and even years.  So there was some excitement, but quite a bit of discouragement too.  {And you have to cut me some slack too because I got this email right after Chad had come home from the hospital and I was exhausted and he was in all manner of pain and my kids were probably going crazy and it was all just too much.}

So what did I do?  I sadly did what many a woman before me has done when faced with a delay in her plan . . . I began to manipulate.  {Think Sarai and the whole Hagar episode.}

I found a moment alone and began to think of ways to fix it.  My train of thought went something like this . . .

We could leave AGCI and be matched with a waiting child with HIV in no time.  No . . . we would lose all the money we've already put in and we can't do that with everything that friends and family have sacrificially given.  We could do a concurrent adoption.  After all, we've already talked about adopting again one day.  Maybe another little one will come before Easton instead.  No . . . that would require another $30,000 that we don't have.  Maybe we could do foster-to-adopt since there is such a great need in our city.  No . . . AGCI won't let us do that while waiting.  Maybe I could just get pregnant again and have another little one before Easton even comes home.

And that's when God snapped me out of my craziness.  I had let my mind go so far down the track without realizing that the Holy Spirit had gotten off the train several stops back.

God whispered . . . When did the goal become just adding another child to your family?  Doesn't matter who, doesn't matter how . . . just get a kid in our family as quick as possible.  When did you trade in My perfect plan for this idea?

Ugh.  Thankfully I wasn't in that pit for long, but it was sobering to see the road that a little discouragement could send me running down.  I confessed.  I repented. 

And then I did what I predicted two years ago would need to happen at some point . . . I went back to when God spoke.  

This is an excerpt from my very first blog post announcing that we were adopting . . .

We know it will be a hard journey and we want to be able to look back and know that we heard God speak and were led by Him alone. To combat the desire in us to figure it all out and to pursue options that would be quicker, cheaper, etc., we committed to just spending time in daily prayer asking God to teach us, refine us and show us our next step.

Boy did He speak! In the last week, God has given us some clear answers.

What we know for now is that we are to adopt a son from Africa!

God spoke in incredible ways that we were to pursue adopting a little boy from Africa.  Months later God refined our call to adopt an HIV positive little one.  

This reflection gave me a fresh resolve . . .

Until we hear Him speak again, we will continue down this road for as long as it takes to see God's plan fulfilled.

{That's an easy sentence to write, but a much harder reality to walk.}

 I was strengthened and renewed by returning to our call, but it still weighed heavy on my heart as to why I was so thrown out of whack at the thought of our adoption taking even longer.

Then the other day God used my kiddos to reveal to me my heart and error in thinking.  

Ava said to Grayson, "I'm 4 and you're 2 so I win."  {She just might have a bit of her mama's competitive nature in her!} I said, "Ava, you are making a race out of something that isn't one.  Of course you are older, you were born first.  It isn't better, it's just how God planned it."

The words had barely left my mouth before I was humbling my heart.  I have looked at friends start the adoption process after us and already have their kids home and somehow have felt like they have won and I've lost.  I've turned this journey into a race so that every month waiting feels like a hurdle in my way and every victory for another family feels like defeat.

  
What a mess I've made of such a beautiful thing.  Of course our friend's have already welcomed their little one home . . . it was God's perfect plan.  Of course Easton isn't here yet and there are seven families in front of us and it could be years before we see his face . . . it is God's perfect plan.

And if I can't trust in His perfect plan, then what can I trust?  Walking in faith . . . that is what we are called to . . . even when it is hard and we can't see and it hurts.  So back on the journey {with the Holy Spirit this time!} and looking forward to more of how God will refine my heart and our family through the journey to our precious Easton!

So there you have it.  {Now you know why I haven't had the energy to write it all out!}  It is humbling to be honest on here for anyone to read, but I don't want to be anything else.  I don't have it all together.  I don't always wait well.  I worry and manipulate at times instead of trusting.

But I am seeking my Father through it all and I can still hear His voice that brings me back to quiet waters and green pastures.  His Word reminds me of His faithfulness to His promises . . . always.  The Gospel proclaims His great mercy and grace lavished on me.  Where else can I go?  I will trust in Jesus.  Praise be to His Name! 

January Adoption Update

We're starting 2013 down 31 spots from when we got on the waitlist in July!

This month we are number

But here's another number . . .

7

We've now been on the waitlist for Easton for 7 months.  It seems to have flown by and crept by all at the same time.  Not sure how that works, but it's true.

In reality, this month makes a year and a half since we first started the adoption process.  Now that seems like FOREVER . . . especially since we have no idea how long of a wait we still have ahead of us.  

I've meant it when I've said that we aren't waiting in turmoil.  We know God's timing will be perfect so there is a trust and peace that comes with that truth.  

But waiting is still waiting.  You'd rather have it now . . . especially when you are waiting on your son.  

But if embraced, waiting can be a very profound time.  A time of growth and preparation and joy and learning and savoring each moment .  

Most of all, it can be a time with countless opportunities for proclaiming the Gospel  . . . 

My King knows best and so I will trust in His plans. 

My Savior is worth any heartache experienced as we walk in obedience.

My God will not leave me for one moment while I wait and will give me the strength to wait well.

My Teacher will open the Word to me in new ways through this process and I will see treasures about who He is like never before.

My Refiner will mold me into His likeness through the fears, the grief, the anticipation, the doubt, the anxiety . . . and then the returning to Him as my Rock and Sure Foundation.

Why do we adopt?  Because my Father adopted me through the sacrifice of His Son . . . the Gospel.

I wish I could say I've lived the past year and a half embracing the wait, but I'd be lying. But more often than not . . . and unfortunately there is still more time to grow. :)

So what do I do while we wait?  Enjoy the blessings God has already given me!

December Waitlist Number

Happy New Year!

I've given up on New Year's resolutions because I fail miserably every time.  That's not to say that I don't have goals {I'd like to lose 9 to 14 lbs, but who's counting?}, but I'm done with setting up rigid parameters and unreal expectations for myself that just leave me defeated.

I did ask the Lord for a Word this morning regarding 2013 and as a Father delights to answer His daughter, God spoke.  I want to share, but I'm still processing so that will have to be for another day!

One great hope that I do have for 2013 is to be united with Easton.  Oh how I pray that I will see my son's face in the coming months.   I long to hold him in my arms.  I can't wait to bring him to his home.  My heart aches to see Ava and Grayson welcome him into our family and love him dearly.  I want to see him bond with his Daddy.  And I so look forward to how God will use Easton's life for His glory!

You know what I would really love?  To celebrate our 10th anniversary in July with a trip to Ethiopia to bring home our son!  {I won't turn you down if you want to pray this with me!}

Our waitlist number for December is . . .

When you look at the number and the current timelines, all these hopes seem unlikely to be realized this year.  {And if they aren't, I'll be okay because in the end I KNOW that God's timing is perfect.}  

But I'm going to hope and pray anyway that 2013 is the year Easton comes home!

November Waitlist Number

Finally (officially) in double digits!

I'm excited to see some movement this month, but I have to be honest . . . these past few weeks have been hard.  I don't know if it is the holidays, but my heart is aching and tears are falling a little more than usual.

These are the moments that I'm so thankful for how God has written our story, though.  I can let my mind wander to the fact that if we had done a domestic adoption, we would most likely have a child in our arms right now.  But I can quickly take those thoughts captive by looking back to how clearly God led us to the truth that our son is in Africa.  Yes, this means a longer wait, but when I see his sweet face, I will know that every day of waiting was worth it.

It just seems that I've had to remind myself a little more frequently that this wait is in God's plan, is for our good, will bring us to Easton, and is something I can and will endure by His Spirit.

We've only been on the waitlist since July, but we started the adoption process in June of last year.  

A year and a half.  

Paperworking.  

Waiting.  

And waiting . . .

So if you have a moment, would you pray for our hearts?  

Pray for peace in God's plan, pray that we will embrace all that God desires to do in and through us while we wait, and pray that God will lavish His grace on Easton and Easton's birthfamily.

Thank you!

The Truth about HIV: History of HIV

You  may remember when I first shared on the blog that God had spoken to us about adopting a son with HIV that I mentioned another adoptive mama who was the catalyst for my eyes being opened to HIV.  She was faithful to speak out on behalf of little ones with HIV, their great need for forever families, and the TRUTH about HIV.

The statistic that gripped my heart then and still makes me fight back tears is this . . .

"HIV medications available in the West have made HIV a manageable chronic illness, but in poor countries, 50% of children who are undiagnosed and/or untreated will die by the age of 2 yrs." 

This amazing adoptive mama has a precious son that could have been part of this statistic.  When he came home at 7 months, his viral load was 2.5 million.  The doctors said he wouldn't have made it to his 2nd birthday.  (posted with permission)

But last week I rejoiced as my friend shared that after just 6 months home, her son's viral load is now UNDETECTABLE!  (This doesn't mean the virus is gone, but that there is such a small amount of the HIV virus in the blood that the levels are undetectable!)

I can't wait for the day (and oh I pray that day will come) when we will rejoice in Easton's undetectable viral load!!  I have such HOPE.  But it breaks my heart that there are millions of mothers, fathers, and children who have no such hope.

Do you see the amazing, life-saving difference that having access to HIV medication can make?  Do you see how important it is for families to set aside fears and adopt HIV positive orphans so they might have hope?  Do you see how important it is for HIV medication to be made available and affordable no matter what country you live in?  

Another issue is the reality that there is absolutely no reason that an infant should become infected with HIV from their mother.  This mother-to-child transmission is almost gone in first world countries, but it is shocking that massive numbers of newborns in third world countries are still being infected with the virus each year.  

The video below gives a good recap of the last 30 years from the eyes of the children that this disease has attacked and communicates the hope of NO MORE mother-to-child transmissions.  It also shows our history . . . how the fear and stigma began immediately and is something people living with HIV still have to face each day.   

I started my series on HIV months ago, but for some reason writing a post about the history of this disease has just proven too much for me.  I've read and researched, but can barely wrap my mind around all that has happened with HIV in the last 30 years.  

The impact is massive.  The death toll is unspeakable.  The stigma is shameful.  The corruption is sickening.  The injustice is heart-wrenching.  I couldn't begin to put it into words.

But there is hope.

ARVs are saving lives.  Fear is being reduced.  People are fighting the stigma and speaking out.  Precious orphans are being adopted.  Medicine is advancing and hopefully one day soon there will be a cure.  

And above all this, I've been reminded through my study of 1 Peter of our greatest Hope of all . . . one that can't be touched by a virus or tainted by corruption.  

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time."

1 Peter 1:3-5

(If you want to actually know details of the history of HIV (since I was basically no help!), definitely read 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa!)

September Waitlist Number and a Giveaway

Our waitlist number for September is . . .

(down 2 spots from 105 in August)

Not gonna lie, I was definitely hoping for double digits. :(  

Each number represents a family waiting.  And each family is waiting for a precious son or daughter (or both).  

Please pray with us that the numbers would drop . . . not just so we are closer to Easton, but on behalf of those who these numbers represent . . . the amazing little ones waiting for a forever family!

People have been asking how we are doing in the wait.  Honestly, we're at a good place.  

One, we certainly aren't just sitting around while we wait . . . our two littles keep us plenty busy so there isn't much time to dwell on the fact that Easton isn't here yet.

Two, we are intentionally trying to trust in the sovereignty and perfect timing of God.  When the time is right, we'll get the call.  Simple as that.  Worrying about it won't do anything to help us in the meantime.  That isn't to say that we aren't waiting with anticipation and excitement, because we definitely are.  There is an ache for our son and the hope of meeting him soon, but it isn't filled with anxiety or frustration, instead it is a peace that surpasses understanding . . . thank you Jesus!

So we're good.  But please don't stop asking.  It encourages our hearts to know that others are just as excited about Easton as we are!

So in anticipation that October will be a crazy month of referrals and with hope that we'll be in double digits soon . . . 

I'm giving away an adoption t-shirt!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment on the blog.  But don't leave me bored . . . tell me something fun or an encouraging word for our wait or a prayer for Easton . . . it won't give you a better chance to win, but it will make my heart happy! :)

The only bad news is that I only have sizes Large, Extra Large, and 2X.  But even if that isn't your size, you can still enter to win and then have a fun prize to give away!

I'll announce the winner on Thursday afternoon!  Thanks for walking this journey with us!

Minivan Mama

Yep.  I'm a minivan mama!  I couldn't be more excited and sure never thought that would be the case!

We've been cruising in our new van for a little over a week and LOVE it!  Ava still talks about how awesome it is each time we get in and we have uttered many prayers of thanksgiving for God's amazing gift to our family.

(So much love for the new van Grayson just had to give it a hug!)

Our new van proclaims that God provides in ways that only He can get the credit.  We are so thankful for my cousins for their generous gift and are even more thankful that they themselves give all the glory to God!

Our new van is also a daily reminder that there is room for more.  We wait expectantly for Easton to be part of our family . . . not with anxiety, because we trust in God's timing, but with such excitement for God's good plans for our family and our new son.  Oh man I can't wait to get another carseat and have another sweet little face smiling back at me in the rearview mirror!  (And Chad has been quick to point out that even after Easton is home we now have room for 2 more! Only the Lord knows about that one!)

The van is amazing.  The travel to get the van was not.

My cousins who gave us the van live outside of Nashville.  We had already planned a trip up there to see them and attend the Empowered to Connect conference.  The details worked out perfectly for us to visit them and bring back the van, but we hated to have to drive home in two cars.

Solution = Megabus.

The Megabus is amazing really.  It goes to many cities and is ridiculously cheap.  Chad and I both got from New Orleans to Nashville for $30.  Not $30 each.  $30 total.  You can't get down the road without using that much in gas these days!

Megabus seemed like the perfect solution.  We ride a bus together there and drive our van home together.  Sounds all rosy and snuggly, right?  Wrong.

Our bus ride from New Orleans to Atlanta was from 9:30 pm to 7:30 am.  I obviously knew this, but talked myself into the fact that it would be an "adventure" for us, great bonding time, blah blah blah.

The bus was full.  The wifi wasn't working so we couldn't watch movies like we'd planned.  And for the love of all that is good, I just can't sleep in anything but a bed.  That little 2 inch reclining does nothing for me.  I had ear plugs, an eye mask, a pillow, and my Louisiana Tech blanket that I never leave home without.  And I still barely got 2 hours of sleep on that never ending ride.

Not to mention that every time I would start to doze off, I would jump up in a panic when I heard the bus make a noise because I was just sure that our driver would be dozing off too. (I had to sit up half the night keeping a bus driver awake on a college trip to Glorieta and I've evidently been scarred for life.)

Chad did a little better and got maybe 4 hours of sleep, but you wouldn't have known it.  When we got to Atlanta, Chad woke up quite delirious and kept talking about how he couldn't see right.  I'm like "Yea, yea.  Just keep moving and get me off this bus."  We waited for them to unload the luggage and as Chad grabs our suitcase he swung it around and literally knocked over 4 other suitcases and almost sideswiped an innocent bystander.  I'm picking up suitcases and looking at Chad like everyone else . . . "Are you crazy?"

We walk down the road a bit before Chad realizes that he's left his phone on the bus.  Thankfully it hadn't left yet, but as he runs back up to me, I'm like, "Chad you better snap out of it and get yourself together.  We are in the middle of an overpass in downtown Atlanta and I need you to be able to think!"  If that hadn't worked, there is a good chance he would've gotten a slap in the face. :)

Middle of an overpass?  Yeah, that's another fun part of this adventure.  Megabus is so cheap because they have no bus stations.  You literally get dropped off on the side of the road.  No address, just an intersection. And in downtown Atlanta, it just so happens to be in the middle of an interstate overpass.

So there we are . . . exhausted, hungry, in desperate need of coffee, and pulling our luggage behind us as we wander through downtown.  Sensing that we clearly needed help, a security guard kindly guided us to a cafe where we fueled up (and brushed our teeth in the bathroom).  We found a little courtyard to read our Bibles until we had to be back at the overpass to get on our bus to Nashville (I stared at the same words like a zombie and then just gave up).

The Nashville trip wasn't near as bad, but I was D.O.N.E. by the time we got there!  I so wish I was a better traveler, but it just hasn't happened yet.  :)

Even with all the adventure in getting there, our time in Nashville was incredible.  We loved getting to spend time with our family.  And the conference was life changing.  Too much to put into words.

And let me tell you . . . the ride home in our new van was like a ride in luxury compared to what it took to get there!

 Letting Ava and Grayson check out the new ride for the first time!

Testing out the buttons!

My two cuties with SO much room!  Ava asks daily if she can play in the van . . . it's like a playground in there!