Anniversary Giveaway!

July 3rd made one year for us officially on the waitlist for Easton.  

It also means we began this whole crazy adoption process two years ago . . . it seems to have flown by and crawled by at the same time!

These milestones are just that . . . not the end, just stops on the way.  Rather than lamenting how long the journey has been, we have the chance to look back at two years in process and one year on the waitlist and give thanks.  

If you look at any of the tabs above that give details about our adoption story, one thing becomes crystal clear . . . God has been and is at work for our good and for His glory.  

We have so many reasons to give thanks.  He {the God of the Universe} has spoken to us {an incredible thing that we often take for granted} in amazing ways to guide our steps, strengthen our faith, stretch our faith, test our obedience, and reveal more of Himself to a family who doesn't deserve to know Him at all.  He has provided every penny we've needed and blessings upon blessings that have gone above and beyond our needs.  He's been so close by the Spirit, through the Word, and through the Body as we've struggled in the wait, always gently reminding of His perfect plans that cannot be thwarted.

So we give thanks to the only One worthy and we continue to wait with much anticipation for the revealing of our precious son!

But that's not all!  We've got another major milestone happening this week . . .

July 12 is our 10 year anniversary!

I can't believe it has been 10 years.  I couldn't be more grateful for the man God chose for me, undeserving as I am for such a blessing.  I loved him when we got married, but I couldn't have anticipated the depth to which our love would grow in a decade.  Maturity, times of loss, times of great joy, kids, ministry, and most importantly, growth in our intimacy with Christ has created a love between us that is far greater, deeper, solid, selfless, and joyful than I could have ever imagined.

So to celebrate these two anniversaries, I'm doing a giveaway!

The prize is something that puts the focus on the root of why we have a thriving marriage 10 years later and why we have joy in the {long} wait for Easton . . . the Word of God.

There is absolutely nothing that has strengthen my intimacy with God and therefore strengthened every other area of my life like consistent, daily, worshipful time in the Word.  God has spoken, delighting to reveal Himself to us.  The Word transforms hearts and lives.  It is living and active, absolutely relevant to what we face in this broken world each day.  Through the Word we are equipped for every good work God has prepared in advance for us to do.  In the Word we are sharpened and refined, humbled and astonished by grace, strengthened in faith and convinced of Truth.  The Gospel is clearly proclaimed and this is a Gospel we need to preach to ourselves each day.

So I am obviously really thankful for the Bible, but my depth of love and gratitude has increased over the last few months because of one thing . . . memorizing Scripture.   

Having your daily bread in the morning is so good, but memorizing the Word is like having a constant feast before you all day.  

I can't even tell you how blessed I have been since I started memorizing in April.  Knowing the Word has protected me and sustained me, but has also readied me to be willing and able to share the Truth at a moment's notice.

I wrote a few months ago about the giveaway that I won with all the materials for a Scripture memory system.  It might not be for everyone, but I have loved it! 

 

{I'll give a basic explanation, but if you want more details you can go to my friend Shauna's blog which has a video with all the details.}

You have a box with a Daily tab, Monday through Friday tabs, and a tab for each day of the month {1-30}.  You write a verse {or verses, chapter, whatever you choose} on a notecard and it first goes behind the Daily tab.  You work on it each day until you've got it.  Then you move the notecard to one of the Weekly tabs where you'll review it once a week.  Once you feel like it is down deep, you move it to one of the Monthly tabs where you will review it once a month . . . forever!

So here's how it will look each day . . .

On the morning of my anniversary {Friday the 12th}, I'll work on each notecard that is in the Daily tab.  Then I'll review each notecard behind the Friday tab.  Then finish by reviewing all the notecards behind the 12 tab.

Make sense?  It is a simple system, but has been so good for me.  I need structure and routine, but enough flexibility to make me not get overwhelmed.  I usually have one longer passage and one or two shorter ones that I'm learning daily and I don't add another daily until I move one of those to a weekly tab.  I try to push myself, but not get so piled up that I'm jumbled and frustrated!

A big thanks to my friend, Mandi Eastwood!  She read my blog in April and not only got the materials for herself, but also got an extra of everything so I could do a giveaway!

So here's how the giveaway will work . . . Just comment on the blog or on my facebook with one of your favorite verses that you've memorized.  Easy as that!  I'll keep a list of everyone who comments and use random.org to choose the winner.  

I'll announce the winner on Friday . . . what a great way to start my anniversary! :)

Praying for your Pastor

Confession:  I never prayed faithfully for my Pastor . . . until I was married to him. :)

{This is the spot where my Pastor proposed 10 years ago!}

I wasn't that I didn't appreciate my former pastors or realize to some extent that the ministry is intense.  I just didn't think about it.

But now I live with it.  And let me tell you . . . until you do, you can't fully appreciate just how intense it is and just how much intercession matters.  

So I'm just gonna throw it out there . . . an encouragement and challenge to be on your knees {faithfully and frequently} for your Pastor.

The life of a Pastor is a constant battle ground.  His heart, his mind, his faith, his marriage, his relationship with his kids, his time engaging with his flock, his time in the Word and prayer,  his time in sermon prep {especially Saturday nights and Sunday mornings} . . . a war rages all week.

Why?  Because the faithful and bold proclamation of the Word of God has the power to transform lives.  People are born again as the Gospel is preached.  Followers of Christ are continually transformed as they grow in intimacy with Jesus.  Sin is revealed as we hold our lives up to the Word.  Grace is overwhelming as we hear of what Jesus has done on our behalf.  Lives are radically changed as we are yielded to God's purpose for His people . . . to glorify Him by making disciples of all nations.

There is great potential for transformation through the Spirit when the local Body gathers together to worship Christ and hear the Word preached.

Understandably, the enemy doesn't like this at all.  If a Pastor is faithfully feeding the sheep, the wolves will come.  I've only been the wife of a pastor for 5 years, but I can tell you that the evil one hasn't eased up on his attacks yet and I don't expect that he will.  The life of a Pastor is a constant battle ground.  If Satan can entangle him in sin and self, he will have with one swoop affected the whole flock. 

Here are just a few of the temptations Pastors can face . . . Every. Single. Week.

1. exaltation of self

{This is tough because we literally put Pastors up on a platform, give them a microphone, and put all eyes on them, but don't want them to be exalted instead of Christ.  What a weekly battle they face!  I pray for Chad this quote by Robert Murray McCheyne, "I see a man cannot be a faithful minister, until he preaches Christ for Christ's sake, until he gives up striving to attract people to himself, and seeks only to attract them to Christ."}

2. the desire to please man instead of God

 {Paul says in 2 Timothy that a time is coming "when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth."  I doubt you want your Pastor to be one of those kind of teachers, but know that there are some who want just that.  A Pastor has to fight to measure success by his faithfulness and obedience to God instead of by how pleased people are with him.}

 3. balancing his time . . . engaging with his people during the week, administrative work, sermon prep, prayer . . . discerning how to best spend each moment is a weekly battle

4. the weight of standing before the flock {and before God} with a message from God

{I saw David Platt put on facebook yesterday this quote from John Knox, "I have never once feared the devil, but I tremble every time I enter the pulpit."  Preaching is intense, y'all!}

5. the temptation to go through the motions without growing in his own personal intimacy with God, without continual transformation, without submitting his own heart to the Word he will preach 

 6. the temptation to isolate

{We can forget that the Pastor isn't the Head of the Body . . . that is Jesus' role.  The Pastor has a specific role WITHIN the Body.  As part of the Body, he needs the same things that we all do . . . sharpening, encouragement, accountability, friendship.  If people expect their Pastor to somehow not struggle with sin and are shocked when he tries to confess sin and be held accountable, then a Pastor {and his family} can easily be resigned to just walk their faith journey in isolation, which is a dangerous road where sin can end up reigning in their lives.}

7. insecurity and the fear of man 

{Chances are a Pastor is not living up to someone's expectations in pretty much every area of his ministry.  If his eyes are focused on this reality, he can be insecure in all aspects of his ministry.} 

Like I said . . . a war is raging in the life of your Pastor and the enemy is not letting up!  Let's commit to being those who intercede, who take up arms and fight right beside the men who faithfully proclaim Christ each week!

I've been memorizing Psalm 138 to pray for Grayson, but on Saturday night I felt a strong leading to pray it for Chad as he prepared his heart to preach.  I'm not saying you have to, but if you are looking for something specific to pray for your Pastor, maybe you could start with this!

I give you thanks, O LORD, with my whole heart;
before the gods I sing your praise;
I bow down toward your holy temple
and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.

Pray that your Pastor will be overwhelmed with God's grace in his own life.  Pray that from his humbled heart, full of gratitude for his salvation, praise will flow and that he will worship in Spirit and in Truth.  Pray that his mind will be focused on the character of God revealed in the Word and in Christ.  Pray that the motive of his heart and the aim of his preaching will be that the name of Christ and the Word of God be exalted.

I'll just say one more thing from personal experience . . . if when you do pray for your Pastor, tell him!  It is so encouraging for him {and his family} to be reminded that he is not alone in this battle.  Especially when God gives you something specific to pray on his behalf, let him know how you are interceding . . . it is probably an answer to prayer or exactly the temptation he is facing.  Hearing from you will strengthen his faith in knowing how God sees and provides for him in the battle!

What do you pray for your Pastor?  How do you remain faithful in interceding for him?  Pastors and Pastor's wives . . . what are other areas of the battle that can be lifted up?

Missionary Training

We have a missionary in our family.  

Her sending date:  mid-August.  

Her sending agency:  Us.

Her destination:  Lusher Elementary School.

Her next two months:  Training for the field.

{Ava ready to be a flower girl a month ago.  How is it possible that my girl is old enough to go to school?} 

The past year has taken us through the craziness that is applying to public schools in New Orleans.  We applied to three of the incredible public schools in the city, all of which are open enrollment to anyone in our parish.  They each have a lottery since there are way more applicants than spots.  It was time consuming and a little stressful . . . and we trusted in God's sovereignty from the beginning . . . I can't imagine the families that are desperate for their child to get a good education and are just hoping to get lucky.

We went through all the lotteries and Ava didn't get it any of the three.  And we were fine with this.  We signed her up to go to Arthur Ashe, which is 3 blocks from our house and started buying uniforms.  

Then, two weeks ago, we got a call from Lusher.  Because of Ava's good score on their assessment test, she had been #2 on their waitlist.  Even so, we didn't expect her to get in because people don't typically give up a spot at such a great school.  We were shocked to hear them offer Ava a spot.  We took a few days to pray about it {the weight of this decision was more overwhelming than I expected}.  

We are confident after much prayer and wise counsel that God has opened this door for Ava to learn at Lusher and for our family to intentionally make disciples in the Lusher community.

We have talked with Ava about the fact that she will be a "missionary" at Lusher.  Don't worry . . . we're not heaping pressure on her.  But we do want her to understand that God calls us, even her, to be intentionally making disciples as we go about life, in all areas of life.  We want her to get a great education, but that is not our greatest goal for her life.  We want her to see {and we've got to show her} that her place at Lusher is for a purpose far greater than just her education.  Our family will now have the opportunity to encounter other families, students, and teachers who may not have heard the good news that Jesus came to seek and save the lost.

As you know, missionaries don't just get thrown on the mission field.  They go to training first.  Intensive training.  Our great friends JB and Liz have been at training the last few months before heading to Africa.  Ava has been faithful to pray for them as they prepare {she always prays for their language learning, which they haven't even started yet!}.  

This morning the Lord opened my eyes to the fact that we are her sending agency, but don't yet have an intentional training plan for Ava to prepare her for going to school.  

{The catalyst was a nightmare last night about Ava's first day of school.  I'm still having the "can't get my locker open" nightmares and I've been out of school for 14 years!  Now evidently I get to have them for my daughter too!}

So I spent time this morning praying and thinking about how to best use the next two months to prepare Ava for school.  Now here me . . . it isn't like we have never talked to Ava about Jesus or don't read the Bible with her.  We do.  But it is a whole other thing to think specifically about what Truth I want to make sure is hidden in her heart and mind as she steps foot in a whole new culture.

Our plan for now is to focus each week on one of the "I AM" statements of Jesus recorded in John.  {If anyone has any craft ideas or illustrations for any of these, feel free to pass it on!}  

Ava has also been very interested in my Scripture Memory System and has asked for one for herself.  It might be a little much for her, but since she's asking, we're going to give it a try. {She is a firstborn who loves structure and routine so it just might be perfect!}

That's a start, but I'm writing this because I know I'm not alone.  I know there are families who have already walked or are walking this road and have priceless wisdom to share.  And I know I'm not the only mama who would be grateful for practical ideas and insight for intentionally discipling our kids to be a light for Christ at school!  

So this is where you, my friends, come in!  I would love some wisdom, advice, and sharpening to be shared here!

What are some of the verses that have been most beneficial for your children to have memorized to deal with what they encounter at school?

What teachings from the Word have you focused on that have been practical and encouraging for your children?

What things have you intentionally done to prepare your little one's heart for engaging with children and teachers who don't know Christ?

As school begins, what do you do to keep the big picture in mind of making disciples . . . for your child and for your family?

What are the best ways that you have connected with teachers and parents that have opened doors to share the Gospel?

 Please share!  Life is so much better in community {even online community!} where we can spur one another on in our faith!

Further Down the Road

Do you have someone that you learn from?  Someone who is a little further down the road than you?  Someone who has walked the life of faith a bit longer?

This faith walk isn't a competition or a race, but it is just plain fact that there are those who have been there before, walked longer, learned lessons . . . and we can receive much sharpening if we are willing to be taught. 

One such person in my life is my friend, Shauna Pilgreen.  If you are Southern Baptist, that name might sound familiar.  You may even have a postcard with her picture on your fridge like me!  

 

Ben and Shauna are church planters in San Fransisco through the North American Mission Board and were featured in Annie Armstrong videos and publicity in the last few months.

While they may be new faces to you, I've had the pleasure of knowing Ben and Shauna for 11 years {and I can't believe it has actually been that long!}.  Ben became the associate director for the BCM at Tech at the end of my junior year.  I only had one year to get to know and learn from the Pilgreens, but they made a big impact!  

We had lost touch for years, but ahhh the beauty of facebook and blogs!  Shauna has a blog that I've been reading over the last year . . . keeping up with the adoption of their daughter from India, seeing snapshots of their life and ministry in SF, and getting a window into Shauna's faith walk.  

Shauna has been faithful to write about a lot of different aspects of her life and faith . . . parenting, marriage, spiritual disciplines, ministry, fun, adoption.  She clicks "publish" and probably has no idea how her testimony impacts me {and others} in such profound ways.

The thing I've learned and appreciated most from Shauna is her intentionality.  This is an area of my life that is often sorely lacking {tell me I'm not alone!} so God has really used her wisdom and practical insight to challenge and encourage me to be intentional in each area of my life.  

I'm reminded of Paul encouraging Timothy {1 Timothy 4:7} to "train yourself for godliness."  Godliness doesn't just happen.  It takes work.  We can't just put off the old.  We must put on the new.  And that takes intentionally being transformed, intentionally pursuing Christ, intentionally walking by faith, intentionally discipling. 

So what has Shauna written that has been so profound?  I'm glad you asked!  I'm going to share four of Shauna's posts that have most impacted how I have been or will be intentional in my faith walk.

1.  Seven Prayers

In this post, Shauna shared a simple way that her family is daily intentional in prayer for their children.  I don't know about you, but as for me in this area . . . fail.  I do pray for my kiddos, but not often for specific aspects of their future.  

I loved this idea and had something similar hanging by our kitchen table just a few weeks later.  

 I also added the names of missionaries that we support or have sent out from Edgewater.  We eat pretty much three meals a day at the table together so it has been so good to maximize that time in interceding for our kids and for those making disciples in another context.  Ava quickly became the one to remember and ask each day who we get to pray for . . . intentionality in prayer . . . sowing seeds that we hope reap a fruitful harvest in the lives of our kids. 

2.  Prayerwalking

Ben and Shauna live in SF and two of their boys are in public school there.  Her wisdom has offered peace to my heart as we prepare for Ava to start kindergarten in the Fall at a public school in our community. {Some NOLA public schools have the reputation of being crazy and a bad education for those of you wondering what the big deal is!}  

I loved being challenged in how I can intentionally and prayerfully fight the spiritual battle that rages for the heart and mind of my little girl even {or especially} at school.  I'm thankful for ideas in how to support and show Christ to her teachers . . . not just in word, but also very practically.  I love being reminded of the power of prayer and the power of a praying family.

We actually prayerwalked the property when Ava's school was first being built and Chad told Ava that this is where we hoped she would go one day.  Since then, she has held firm that this is her school.  Life doesn't slow down, so we are going to have to remain very intentional in covering her school and teachers in prayer!

3.  Names

I love this idea, but probably never would have thought of it.  Ben and Shauna write the name of each child in their son's class on paper and hang them on the wall in their bedroom.  Each night those classmates get prayed for.  So simple, but so brilliant!  Can you imagine the transformation of the heart of your child as they pray for the needs of their friends {or those who don't like them} each night?  Imagine the compassion that develops as you talk about those other kids and get to the heart of their needs and what should be prayed for.  I also just love that this intentionally carves out a time each day where you are talking about what is going on at school and in friendships.  The more we can keep communication open, clear and Christ-centered, the better!

4.  Memorization

This is the most recent life changer {and I do mean that}!  Shauna has been sharing in the last few months about spiritual disciplines . . . what she does, how she struggles, what she is learning.  I had just been confronted by the Lord over my lack of, you guessed it, intentionality in memorizing Scripture.  I knew I needed some sort of goal or system, but didn't know what.  Days later, I read Shauna's blog where she detailed her memorization system in a video . . . I knew that wasn't a coincidence!

Shauna was also doing a giveaway . . . leave a comment of a favorite verse you've memorized and one person would win all the supplies for the memorization system.  I commented of course, but I never win anything.  A week later {I just knew I wouldn't win and was so anxious to get started} I had all the supplies in my basket at Walmart, but ended up putting them all back on the shelf {you know how it is . . . it was the end of the month and there is only so much moolah in the envelope!}. 

That day, Shauna emailed me to say that I had won!  I loved God's work in all the details to get me doing a memorization system that works perfectly for me and keeps me daily intentional in hiding His Word in my heart!

So this is what my table looks like each morning as I start my time with my Savior. 

I won't explain the whole system here . . . just head over to Shauna's blog and watch the video where she explains it all!  I've only been doing it for a couple of weeks, but I can already see the fruit in my life from being intentional in knowing the Word!

So there it is.  Four glimpses into Shauna's faith and life that have blessed me and I hope will bless you.  I don't share this to put Shauna on a pedestal . . . neither of us would want that.  I share because she has passed on what she has learned and I want to do the same.  In His wisdom, God created the Church to build each other up and that those who are further down the road would freely proclaim lessons learned to those a few steps behind.  Thank You Jesus!

And what post would be complete without some pictures of my little loves?!

Grayson has been very dramatic intense OCD excited about pockets lately. :)

He even got Ava to pose for a pic with pocket excitement!

God Speaks

God speaks.  

He spoke the world into being.  Scripture records how He has spoken to His people since Adam and Eve were created.  He spoke to and through His prophets.  

Then the Word became flesh.  Jesus is Truth and spoke Truth.  

The Spirit of God inspired the Word of God that we are privileged to read and study.  The same One who inspired it, now teaches us, bears witness to Christ, and opens the eyes of our hearts to understand.

I've been overwhelmed with this truth lately.  All that we understand about life and God is because of His divine revelation, because He has chosen to speak to those who don't deserve to hear His voice.  Grace upon Grace.

I've also been reminded lately of how powerful it can be when we share how God is speaking.  

I can so often choose to talk about things that don't matter when spending time with friends.  I can share a common platitude when someone is struggling.  I can fan the flames of frustration or hurt when someone is venting.

What if I shared words of Life instead?  What if I encouraged dear friends with what God has been teaching me through the Word, praying it will edify their hearts?  What if I shared the only Truth that will actually bring hope to those struggling?  What if I trusted the Spirit to give me the words to bring someone to the Cross and the Empty Tomb when they are angry and hurt . . . to play a part in moving them from darkness to light and life?

Cause I'm not gonna lie . . . there are days when I just need someone to walk up to me and say "His mercies are new every morning.  Great is His faithfulness."  I need that kind of friend so I want to be that kind of friend!

Just last week Chad was on the phone with my mom.  She shared with him what she had been learning that week.  She couldn't have known it, but that testimony was a timely word for Chad, speaking right to an issue of his heart.  He got off the phone, confessed, repented, and worshiped.  All because God had spoken and His daughter had proclaimed it.

I want to develop a discipline of proclaiming how God is speaking to this undeserving heart.  It isn't that I never share {some of you may be thinking that I do share . . . maybe too much!}.  But I want to be more intentional.  Ready at a moment's notice to speak words of LIFE to the dead, broken and lost, but also to my weary brothers and sisters following after Christ.

 So here are a few things that God has been speaking to me lately . . .

humility

God has been confronting me with my pride for months, gently and consistently.  As I've prayed recently about wanting to be used by Him, but my pride getting in the way, He has spoken twice so clearly that I felt I could almost audibly hear His voice.

- Let your prayer be not that you would be exalted among those who know, but that Christ would be exalted among those who don't.

- I will use a jar of clay, but I will never raise a golden calf.

Ouch, right?!  Remember how Hebrews 4 says that the Word is living and active?  We love that.  But it also says that the Word is "sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." That hurts.  So, so good, but painful nonetheless!

prayer

Matthew 8:5-13 shares the story of a centurion asking Jesus to heal his paralyzed servant, but also recognizing Jesus' authority and the power of a simple word spoken from the mouth of the Savior.  Verse 13 is where God leveled me ...

"And to the centurion Jesus said, "Go; let it be done for you as you have believed."

Jesus didn't say "as you have asked" as I would have expected, but the focus and healing was based on belief.

Sometimes I just don't ask.  But how often do I ask God to work without truly believing that He can and will?  Talk about changing your prayer life!

knowing God

Yesterday I was reading the Word in three different places, but God was speaking the same Truth.  I love seeing how the Word is ONE story pointing my heart to God!

- In just the first 24 chapters of Ezekiel, the phrase "then you will know that I am the Lord GOD" is used 39 times.  That repetition has obviously caught my attention . . . God is concerned that His people {and all people} would know who He is, that He is the LORD.  

Chapter 24 though took it even further.  God told Ezekiel that He was going to take his wife, "the delight of your eyes," and that Ezekiel couldn't mourn her death.  God gives the reason as He spoke to His people in verse 24, "Thus shall Ezekiel be to you a sign; according to all that he has done you shall do.  When this comes, then you will know that I am the Lord GOD."

Am I willing to be used by God so that all will know that He is the Lord?  Am I willing to sacrifice my "delight" so that others will know?

- Matthew 10 records Jesus' instructions to the 12 disciples as He sends them out to proclaim the kingdom of God to Israel.  Jesus paints a pretty rough picture for them . . . sheep among wolves, being flogged and dragged into court, being hated by all for the sake of Christ, persecution, death, their own families becoming enemies.  Verse 38 sums it up, "whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me."  

It was a call to die to self.  Die so that others may know.

Am I willing to die to self so that others may know Christ?  Do I fear nothing, not persecution, hatred, isolation, even death, but count it all a loss for the sake of knowing Christ and making Him known?

- 2 Timothy is Paul's deathbed letter to Timothy.  He encourages Timothy to persevere in the faith and follow Paul's example of a life poured out in worship to God.  Paul has been through a lot as he has followed Christ {understatement of the year!}.  

But even at the end, his focus is still on the call that has been the driving force of his life.  2 Tim. 4:17, "But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it." 

Have I given over my life to making Christ known to all nations?  Do I realize that eternal life is to know God {John 17:3} and that God desires all people to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth {1 Tim. 2:4}?  What am I doing about it?

Do you remember that song, "All of life comes down to just one thing.  That's to know you oh Jesus and to make You known."?  I used to be bothered because the writer says there is one thing, but he has an "and" in there, which clearly means he's talking about two things . . . 1. know Jesus. 2. make Him known.  Right? Wrong!

There is just one thing.  To know Jesus IS to make Him known.  You can't separate the two.  A disciple is a disciplemaker.  

I know this.  But I loved hearing God speak this Truth to me through three different parts of the Word yesterday.  It reminded me that the Word is One Story about One God declaring One Mission . . . to know Him and make Him known!

So what has God been speaking to you?  

Let's encourage each other!  But if you don't share it on here, be intentional to share words of LIFE with someone in your life today!

Overcome

Hello there.  Good to see you again. :)

Other than a few adoption waitlist number updates, it has been quite a while since I've written.  Wondering why?

Full disclosure . . . I'm prideful.  

And unfortunately I found that this blog was fanning the flames of pride in my heart.  I found myself more and more concerned with what people said, what people didn't say, criticism I would receive, likes, shares, comments . . . you get the idea.  Even when I shared a good Word from a sincere heart, my mind would quickly detour into self-centered thoughts.

So I've stepped back the last few months.  Originally I thought I should just walk away from opportunities for pride to reign, including the blog.  But God gently reminded me that there will always be opportunities for me to want my name exalted over His or moments when I will want to steal the praise that He alone is due.

I'm not just to flee pride, but to walk in humility.

Even still, the break has been good for me.  Now this doesn't mean that I've kept my mouth shut these past few months!  I've just embraced and been more intentional in the avenues that God has already given me to encourage and challenge through His Word . . . Sunday School, Inward, the lady I disciple, Life Group, and friendships.

The thing about these opportunities is that these people SEE me.  They don't just see the online version where only selective thoughts are verbalized {even though I've tried to be real about my struggles, I know there is always that feeling of not seeing the full picture . . . because you aren't!}.  They see and hear of my struggles, they hear my confessions, they walk with me in ministry, they study the Word with me.  There isn't a whole lot of room for pride, when people see the real you.

So I've embraced these relationships. I've shared the Word and what God has been teaching me.  And God has protected me from my pride and enabled me to do it with humility {I promise I'm not being prideful in saying that!}.  I've prayed for God to be glorified, I've felt a fire in my heart because His Word is powerful and true, I've exalted His work by the Spirit, and I've worshiped with gratitude that He would use me at all.  It has been good . . . transformation hurts at times, but is always good.

But today I feel comfortable sharing with you how God overwhelmed me with Truth this morning.  And I pray as I type that the Spirit would encourage and challenge your heart in a way that only He gets the credit!

For years and years daily time in God's Word was inconsistent at its best and downright neglected at its worst.  But I've had a couple of revivals of the heart in the last few years that have changed me.

Two years ago God graciously gave me a strong desire to be in His Word.  At the same time He gave Chad a renewed desire to lead me spiritually by making sure I had the time to be in the Word {meaning that He gave Chad the courage to wake me up way earlier than I wanted to have my eyes open . . . such love!}.  That discipline of daily time dramatically changed me, changed us.  

Then, just a few weeks ago, God began another revival in my heart.  Not just a little revival.  Like a big Gospel tent revival with a hollering preacher!  His name is Paul and his God-inspired words to Timothy have brought me to my knees at the alter over and over again.

What is so great that it is changing me?  Hold on to your seats . . .

The Gospel.

Shocker, right?!  Seriously though, I am so saddened to say that reflecting on the Gospel has never before been part of my daily discipline.  Even as I've been more consistent in the Word these last few years, I've not always meditated on the Gospel.

But for the past two weeks I have daily thought, prayed, and studied the Gospel and it is changing me.  Listen to Paul's words in 1 Timothy 1:12-17 . . .

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent.  But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.  But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

The same Gospel that transformed Paul has transformed me and I hope it has transformed you.  It is all grace.  Apart from Christ we are all enemies of God, slaves to sin, dead.  We deserved separation from God forever, BUT God, in mercy and great love, did something about it.  He did what we could never do for ourselves. God the Son came to save.

And do you see what this recounting of his salvation produced in Paul?  WORSHIP!  It's like he bursts out in song at the end, overcome by God's great grace.  It has produced the same in me.  I've worshiped and prayed with a gratitude I've never known simply because I'm keenly aware of my great need.

Then again in 1 Timothy 2 . . .

 . . . God our Savior, who desires for all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all . . .

This is what I taught this morning so I've been studying it all week.  

So. Incredibly. Powerful.  It truly is amazing grace. 

After teaching and digging into the majesty of the Gospel, my heart was already so full as I came to corporate worship.  We were singing "Worthy is the Lamb" . . .

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne.
We crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious!
High and lifted up
Jesus, Son of God.
The darling of Heaven, crucified... 

Worthy is the Lamb.

Thank you for the cross, Lord.
Thank you for the price you paid.
Bearing all my sin and shame, in love you came
And gave Amazing Grace.

Thank you for the scars, Lord.
Thank you for the nail-pierced hands.
Wash me in Your cleansing flow, now all I know...
Your forgiveness and embrace.

I was praying the song until we got to the end of verse 2 and then I was completely overcome and sobbing on the floor.

The truth of the Gospel is that I deserve God's wrath.  He would be absolutely just to pour out that cup on me.  It is what I'm due for my rebellion and sin.

But because of the Cross, I will never know that wrath.  I will only know His forgiveness and embrace.

I'm undone.

His grace is radical.  The Cross is gruesome and glorious.

It is my only hope.  Is it yours?

Orphan Care

{I started writing this post on Nov. 5th and am just now finishing . . . it's been a crazy month!}

November 4th was designated in churches all over the US (and hopefully the world) as Orphan Sunday.

A day set aside to dwell on what God's Word reveals about His love and concern for orphans and to highlight and educate the Church about the global orphan crisis.

I helped put together the Orphan Sunday emphasis at Edgewater so I'd love to share with you some of the verses and statistics we shared through a video with our faith family . . .

God’s heart for the orphan is unmistakable. 

“He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.”  Deut. 10:18

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families . . .”  Psalm 68:5-6

“Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.  Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”  Asaph’s cry to God in Psalm 82:3-4

The numbers are staggering.

The UNICEF definition of an ORPHAN:  a child who has lost one parent (single orphan) or both parents (double orphan)

The total number of orphans worldwide – 153 million 

The number of orphans worldwide who have lost both parents – 17.8 million 

In most of the world, to lose your father means the loss of all provision, protection, and hope.

The number of orphans who have lost their father – 101 million 

The number of children who are orphaned by AIDS each day – 6,000 

The percent of HIV positive children in resource poor settings who will die – 50% by the age of 2 

The number of children in the US foster system – 500,000 

The number of children waiting in US foster care who are qualified for adoption – 104,000 

The number of young people who “age out” of the foster system each year without a family – 20,000 

The number of children in the foster system in New Orleans – 450 

The call is clear.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  James 1:27


Now here is where things can get a bit confusing, heated, and just flat out wrong.  When we see God's heart for orphans and we understand the call for the Church to care for orphans, there can be the tendency to put a simple equation together . . . Orphan Care = Adoption.  

The problem is that this equation isn't true and believing this way leaves out a massive number of orphans who still need our care.  Adoption is most definitely part of orphan care, but orphan care is not in any way limited to adoption.

Those who have or are adopting are usually passionate and excited to talk about adoption specifically, but this can sometimes come across as communicating that false equation. 

Adoption is amazing, needed, and certainly Gospel proclaiming, but it isn't the only way.  I'm sorry if any of you have ever gotten that message and felt guilty or judged or resolved that you can't be involved in caring for orphans unless you adopt.  You can!

With this confusion in mind, we also gave our faith family a handout with 10 ways to be involved in orphan care that I'd love to share with you as well (my friend, Brigette, made a beautiful handout, but I can't figure out how to get it on here. Grrrrr. So you just get a plain old list.).  We used a similar resource found at orphansunday.org, but made it specific to the needs and opportunities at Edgewater. 

Ten Practical Ways to Engage in Orphan Care

1. PRAY for Orphans.  Display a waiting child’s picture in your home or car to help remind you to pray (AdoptUsKids.org or RainbowKids.com). Use the 40 Days of Prayer for Orphans guide at www.orphansunday.org/resources/prayer-guides/.
2. SPEAK UP on their behalf.  Share God’s heart for the orphan and information about the global orphan crisis with family and friends.  Become a court appointed special advocate for a child in foster care (NationalCASA.org).
3. DONATE to Edgewater's adoption fund or to organizations that give grants to adoptive families (lifesongfororphans.org, showhope.org).
4. VISIT orphans in their context.  Pray for the India mission trip in March 2013 as they serve at an orphanage. Be looking for future mission trips involving orphan care. Volunteer at a group home in NOLA (boystown.org, boyshopegirlshope.org/nola, raintreeservices.org).
5. SERVE those who have adopted or are fostering.  You could write an encouraging note, babysit, mow their lawn, or bring them a meal.
6. INTERCEDE for those in our faith family who already have or are in the process of adopting or providing foster care. (I listed all the Edgewater families, but won't throw all their names out on here!)
7. GIVE sacrificially to allow our India mission team to purchase 5 water bu ffalos for the orphanage in order to provide much needed milk for the approximately 300 orphans there.
8. SUPPORT orphans in practical ways.  Sponsor a child with a financial gi ft and encouraging letters (compassion.com, worldvision.org, helponenow.org, amazima.org). Connect with a young adult who has aged out of the foster system.  Mentor a child in a local group home.
9. PARTICIPATE in opportunities to care for orphans provided by our Orphan Care and Foster Care Life Groups. Th e Foster Care Life Group is kicking off a "3 Day Bag" project for children brought into the foster system and could use our help!
10. PURSUE adopting or fostering. For more information on becoming a foster family or adopting a child through international, domestic, or foster care adoption, a resource list is available in the foyer. (We had a list of books, websites, agencies, and info for local foster care to give families a place to start as they pray for direction.)

I hope, as was our prayer for the Orphan Sunday emphasis, that you have clearly seen God's heart for orphans and the Church's call to be the hands and feet of Jesus to them.  

For some of you, I hope this list has taken away the guilt or judgment you've felt about not adopting and given you new ideas and a renewed desire to engage in orphan care in different ways as God leads.

And maybe for a few, I'm hoping that you are no longer able to ignore the call.  If you are a Christ follower, your life should be marked by what proclaims the heart of God . . . orphan care, then, cannot be denied or pushed off on others.  Don't ask God, "Should I care for orphans?" . . . that answer is YES!  Instead, dare to ask, "How should I care for orphans?" and watch God rock your world!

Grace

I want to apologize if I’ve ever come across on the blog as super-spiritual or like I’ve got it all together.  Because I’m not and I don’t. 

I usually don’t write on the blog until I’ve processed things, until I’ve come out on the other side.  So maybe I don’t do a good enough job of communicating the hard and weary road in the middle.  I’m sorry if that has made it seem like I’m something I’m not.

Cause I’m messed up.  I struggle with sin.  I fail. 

I need Jesus.  I need the salvation that only comes through His life, death, burial, and resurrection.  I need the Gospel.

And, as was all too clear today, I need to be reminded of the Gospel daily.  I need it in front of me.  I need to preach it to myself moment by moment.

But (and I’m about to get real honest here folks) what I usually preach to myself is far different.  My thought life at times goes like this . . .

I think about something negative that others are probably thinking about me (but there is no one else in the conversation so it is really just the negative I think about myself).  Then I’m beat down, ashamed, and defensive.  So I naturally defend myself against this attack (defending myself to myself . . . I told you I’m messed up!).  I remind myself of why I’m not so bad and bring to the front anything positive until I feel better about myself.  Sick.

The main problem is that nothing in this scenario proclaims the Gospel.

Self-condemnation is not the Gospel.

Self-righteousness is not the Gospel.

I am hopeless apart from the grace of God in Christ . . . that is the Gospel!  Jesus died on my behalf so that the condemnation of sin is no longer mine.  He died so that my righteousness, that could never be enough, is not what secures my future or makes me a child of God. 

Are you wondering where all of this confession is coming from?  I’ll tell you where . . . World War III with my girl today!

Ava is sick (I hate you croup!) so I’ve spent $35 and the last 24 hours trying to get some medicine to help her not sound like a barking seal.  The doctor for some reason thought that it would be possible to get a 4 year old to swallow 7 mL of a one dose medicine instead of giving us the three dose stuff that Grayson has taken just fine.  Add to that the fact that the pharmacist failed to tell us that said medicine tasted like death so we didn’t even think of trying to have flavoring added.  This resulted in a massive battle with our tip-lipped 27 pounder and EVERY. SINGLE. DROP. of that precious medicine being spit on the floor.

Now can you understand why I have been reminded today to preach the Gospel to myself?  I need grace!  I lost my mind during the drama, yelled at my sweet girl, and was as frustrated as I’ve been in a long time.

I spent this afternoon so grieved and ashamed at how quickly my flesh can rise up.  Then I worshiped because I was fully aware of my need for forgiveness and so grateful that I’m already forgiven.  The Gospel.

After prayers and tears, I sat down to read Hosea.  I’ll begin teaching Hosea this week, but I just wanted to read . . . not for study or information, but with hope that God would whisper sweet words to my hurting heart. 

I only made it to verse two. J

“When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea . . .”

The whisper. 

Before God was going to use Hosea to proclaim His words to others, Hosea needed to understand the message himself.  He needed to know the heart of God.  He needed firsthand experience with love and grace.

And it’s still the same.  As a follower of Christ, I’ve been given a mission to make disciples.  But how could I ever expect someone to be overwhelmed by God’s grace if I’m not?  How can I passionately share the great love of Jesus if I’m not gripped by it?  How can I honestly speak to someone about their great need unless I’m keenly aware of my own? 

I need to never believe I’m so different from those with whom I’m sharing the Gospel.  No different in fact . . . needy, hopeless, a wreck . . . but for the grace of God.  That heart knowledge brings compassion in proclamation . . . and you know our world could use a little more of that!

So although it has been draining day, I’m thankful for the reminder of my great need of grace.  I’m humbled at the great price Jesus paid on my behalf.  I’m grateful for the salvation that I could never deserve or earn.  I have a fresh joy as I consider all that is mine in Christ.  And I have a renewed desire to proclaim the good news that has transformed me.

Because the Gospel, when you’re brought face to face with it, begs to be shared. 

So if you’re a mess like me and have no hope or peace other than what you can muster on your own, leave me a comment . . . I have something I’d love to share with you! 

And if you’re a mess like me (cause we all are!), but do have hope in Jesus, then I pray that my rough day will serve as a reminder of the great grace, the moment by moment grace, that is yours in Christ!

Ashton

5 years ago yesterday, Chad welcomed everyone who walked into Edgewater with the news that he was going to be a daddy.  To say he was excited is an understatement!

We had known for about a month, but had been keeping our big news a secret until we could tell our family. The weekend before, we flew up to Kansas and surprised my parents and brother with news that a little one would be joining our family in April!  Precious, precious moments that I will cherish forever!

We told Chad's family as soon as we got back into town.  We immediately realized that it was time to go public when Chad's mom told our waitress at dinner that she was going to be a grandma . . . there was going to be no keeping this a secret for much longer! :)

That week was filled with some of the most joy-filled conversations I had ever had!  News of a baby is just pure joy and we were swimming in it.  So that Sunday at church was just the icing on the cake . . . telling our faith family and having them share in our joy was priceless.

But 5 years ago today, our joy turned to despair as we learned that our little one was gone.

We went for my first doctor appointment, saw the first picture of our first baby, but didn't see the heartbeat we longed for.  I was 9 weeks, but our little love had stopped growing at 7 weeks.

There just aren't words to describe what we went through that day and the days that followed.  Pure heartbreak.

The next 2 weeks were miserable, painful, and exhausting in every possible way.

But God was near.  Chad and I held on to each other and tried desperately to help one another cling to God.  Our Edgewater family truly were the hands and feet of Jesus as they loved, served, cared, and prayed for us.

About a month after the miscarriage, we went to Galveston, just the two of us, for a week-long getaway.  We slept.  We cried.  We watched an unhealthy amount of LOST.  We cried some more.

We took long walks on the most gorgeous deserted beach.

And for the first time in my life I flat out wrestled with God.

I boldly asked Him all my questions.  I gave Him the full force of my anger and hurt.

But just like David after he cried out to God with questions in Psalm 13, I ended this way . . .

But I trust in your unfailing love; 

My heart rejoices in your salvation. 

I will sing the Lord's praise, 

for He has been good to me.

I can't believe that it has been 5 years.  I look back and see nothing but God's faithfulness and grace.  He has healed our hearts from the pain that was so raw and overwhelming.

But healing is not forgetting.

His name is Ashton.  Named after his Daddy.  

And today I went through the memory box we created with all the cards, emails, prizes, and keepsakes from those months.  I cried tears of loss, but also gratitude.  

I'm amazed that anything of my weak faith was even left after the trauma of Ashton's loss.  I was not the woman then that I am now.  I didn't feast on God's Word daily or even consistently.  I didn't take each Word in the morning as my daily Bread.  God was so gracious to one so weak and lukewarm.

His grace sustained me and has drawn me into depths with Him that I couldn't have imagined then.  He has heaped blessing upon blessing on our lives . . . two amazing kiddos and hearts waiting for another.  

In fact, exactly a year after we sat on our couch and sobbed over the fresh news of our loss, we sat on that same couch for the first time holding our precious 10 day old daughter.  

Beauty from ashes.  Joy from mourning.  Life from death.  Isn't that God's way?

This morning as Chad and I prayed, remembering the darkness of grief and still aching for our son, God again reminded us of His sovereignty and faithfulness.  

Ava heard the garbage truck and came flying out of her room.  We smiled as we listened to the pitter patter of feet that wouldn't have been a part of our lives had it not been for Ashton's feet only knowing the streets of heaven. 

Today I grieve and give thanks to the One who is Creator, Sovereign, and Good. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;

make known his deeds among the peoples!

Sing to him, sing praises to him;

tell of all his wondrous works!

Glory in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!

Seek the Lord and his strength;

seek his presence continually!

Psalm 105:1-4 

Ava's birthday . . . must mean a hurricane is headed to NOLA!

Not only did Hurricane Isaac bring deja vu for everyone who experienced Katrina (especially since it hit on the 7 year anniversary . . . not cool), but it brought another set of flashbacks for our family.

Ava was born four years ago on September 1st . . . the day Hurricane Gustav pounded into New Orleans.  Evacuating while 40 weeks pregnant is no joke, especially with all the drama/miracles we experienced.  (I wrote a bit more about it for Ava's birthday last year plus great pics of her through the years!)

Once again we found ourselves preparing to evacuate as Ava's birthday drew near.  Isaac was only a Category 1 hurricane, but it left us away from home for a full week because of no power, 4 days apart from daddy, an empty fridge, a broken fence, a little water in the church . . . and compared to most we were hardly impacted.

So in the spirit of "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" we decided to make the whole week a celebration for Ava's birthday!  She got to see both sets of grandparents, was given some really fun prizes, and best of all got a call from daddy on her birthday that our power was back on and we could come home!

The week was fun, but several days without daddy coupled with being completely out of our routine was honestly wearing me down a bit.  Thankfully the Lord gave me a precious moment on the morning of Ava's birthday both with Him and my girl!

I have been reading through the Psalms for the past few months asking God to give me a specific Psalm for each of our kids to be our prayer/vision for them and one that we would help them memorize.  That morning I just happened to be reading Psalm 96 and it was God speaking so clearly to me as I thanked God for Ava.

This is her Psalm.  Pray this for her . . . and really mean it.

This wouldn't seem a tough task, but I only had to get as far as verses 2 & 3 to make my breath catch.

"Sing to the LORD, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day.  Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples."

Of course I want to pray this for my girl . . . this is why we were created, this is what we teach her our lives are supposed to be about.  But a mama praying that her precious little girl would go to all nations and all peoples with the Gospel means complete surrender . . . for her and for me.  It means letting go of comfort, safety, nearness.  It means trusting her fully to her Maker.

So I'll admit that I paused a second and took a deep breath before I continued with this prayer.  We have to choose to raise her in such a way that she will have a heart for the nations and desire for all to know the salvation that comes only through Jesus Christ.  And as tough as this road may be for her/us to walk, it is the only one that makes sense in light of what Jesus has done for us.

This was a special moment in the heart of this mama, but it wasn't done.

When Ava woke up, I shared those few verses with her and that I was praying for her.  We talked a little about what the verses mean . . . going to all nations to tell people about Jesus.  I asked Ava what different nations she might like to visit to share the Gospel and her answer brought me to tears . . .

Oh mom . . . when I'm a mom I'm going to live in Ethiopia and take care of all the babies whose parents can't take care of them anymore.

So simple. So matter-of-fact.  So the heart of Christ.

I'm praying great things for my beautiful daughter.  I'm praying Psalm 96 and her vision of the future are truly prophetic words for her life.  Like Mary, I'm treasuring all this things in my heart while at the same time wrestling with how to let go.

What a precious gift with which we have been entrusted!  Ava is funny, smart, compassionate, quirky, and such a joy!  (Check out this post for some of her latest funnies!)

I've got a bunch of pictures that capture Ava's week-long birthday celebration!

We got to love on cousin Penny while at Grammy and Paw Paw's house!

Grammy made Ava some birthday cupcakes!  They also got Ava a new swing for the amazing swing set God provided for us!

And Ava got to eat her favorite "spicy" ice cream . . . mint chocolate chip!

We went to a wildlife/alligator farm with Papa T and Lili.  They were content to let daddy feed the crazy goats!

We watch a whole lot of alligators being fed and they got to pet one.  Standing by the wall was as close as my girl was willing to get!

Ava's princess cake!

Ava is still willing to read birthday cards before tearing into the prize . . . don't think that will last much longer!

My girl has been really into having tea parties lately.  Lili got her a tea set of her own and we've already enjoyed several cups of water tea. :)  Papa T and Lili got a new swing for Ava too!

Aunt Sheryl got Ava a new baby doll who was immediately named Mary Poppins. 

Daddy left on Thursday to head back to NOLA and figured we probably wouldn't be back by Ava's actual birthday on Saturday.  He gave her flowers before she left . . . so precious!  If you ask Ava what is her favorite color, she says "purpleyelloworange" as if it is one color.  Chad couldn't believe that he found the perfect bouquet!  She looked at the flowers, looked at her daddy with such love, and then threw her arms around his neck.  I love watching Chad teach her how she should be loved by a man!

Uncle Clay sent Ava some new games to practice her counting, math, and reading . . . such a teacher! :)

Papa T and Lili got down the doll house that I played with when I was a little girl.  Ava literally spent hours moving all the furniture around and playing with her dolls . . . as long as the door was shut with Grayson on the other side!  The doll house stayed at Lili's house so it doesn't cause World War III at our house!

Chad and I got Ava, you guessed it, another swing for the swing set, but also got her a few prizes for our "school" time.  I've never seen a girl so excited about gel pens and a "measurer" (ruler)!

Such a good birthday week, but nothing compares to being home with Daddy in the city we love!