The Truth about HIV: History of HIV

You  may remember when I first shared on the blog that God had spoken to us about adopting a son with HIV that I mentioned another adoptive mama who was the catalyst for my eyes being opened to HIV.  She was faithful to speak out on behalf of little ones with HIV, their great need for forever families, and the TRUTH about HIV.

The statistic that gripped my heart then and still makes me fight back tears is this . . .

"HIV medications available in the West have made HIV a manageable chronic illness, but in poor countries, 50% of children who are undiagnosed and/or untreated will die by the age of 2 yrs." 

This amazing adoptive mama has a precious son that could have been part of this statistic.  When he came home at 7 months, his viral load was 2.5 million.  The doctors said he wouldn't have made it to his 2nd birthday.  (posted with permission)

But last week I rejoiced as my friend shared that after just 6 months home, her son's viral load is now UNDETECTABLE!  (This doesn't mean the virus is gone, but that there is such a small amount of the HIV virus in the blood that the levels are undetectable!)

I can't wait for the day (and oh I pray that day will come) when we will rejoice in Easton's undetectable viral load!!  I have such HOPE.  But it breaks my heart that there are millions of mothers, fathers, and children who have no such hope.

Do you see the amazing, life-saving difference that having access to HIV medication can make?  Do you see how important it is for families to set aside fears and adopt HIV positive orphans so they might have hope?  Do you see how important it is for HIV medication to be made available and affordable no matter what country you live in?  

Another issue is the reality that there is absolutely no reason that an infant should become infected with HIV from their mother.  This mother-to-child transmission is almost gone in first world countries, but it is shocking that massive numbers of newborns in third world countries are still being infected with the virus each year.  

The video below gives a good recap of the last 30 years from the eyes of the children that this disease has attacked and communicates the hope of NO MORE mother-to-child transmissions.  It also shows our history . . . how the fear and stigma began immediately and is something people living with HIV still have to face each day.   

I started my series on HIV months ago, but for some reason writing a post about the history of this disease has just proven too much for me.  I've read and researched, but can barely wrap my mind around all that has happened with HIV in the last 30 years.  

The impact is massive.  The death toll is unspeakable.  The stigma is shameful.  The corruption is sickening.  The injustice is heart-wrenching.  I couldn't begin to put it into words.

But there is hope.

ARVs are saving lives.  Fear is being reduced.  People are fighting the stigma and speaking out.  Precious orphans are being adopted.  Medicine is advancing and hopefully one day soon there will be a cure.  

And above all this, I've been reminded through my study of 1 Peter of our greatest Hope of all . . . one that can't be touched by a virus or tainted by corruption.  

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time."

1 Peter 1:3-5

(If you want to actually know details of the history of HIV (since I was basically no help!), definitely read 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa!)

Giveaway Winner & A Reason to Smile

A big thank you to everyone who left an encouraging word or a sweet prayer for our Easton!  I can't imagine going through this journey alone and I praise God for using His people to encourage our hearts over and over again!  A chance at a free t-shirt is the least I can do for all the peeps who have walked beside us or are traveling this road as well!

And the winner is . . .

Joy Hanson!

Congrats Joy!  Just let me know what size and I'll bring it to you on Sunday!  

(btw, I used random.org to pick the winner)

I'm not gonna lie . . . it has been a rough day in the Gilbert House.  So maybe you are like me and just need a reason to smile, a chance to put things in perspective  . . . well here you go!

I can get so flippin frustrated, but then I look at these two cuties and have nothing else to do but thank God for His abundant blessings and pray for the grace to love them well.  

Grayson is ABSOLUTELY. IN. LOVE. with his Scooby Do hat.  But only if it is backwards.  

I could eat him with a spoon. :)

Hope this makes you smile!  (And maybe if you are having a day like mine, you should find a cute picture of your kiddos . . . couldn't hurt!)

September Waitlist Number and a Giveaway

Our waitlist number for September is . . .

(down 2 spots from 105 in August)

Not gonna lie, I was definitely hoping for double digits. :(  

Each number represents a family waiting.  And each family is waiting for a precious son or daughter (or both).  

Please pray with us that the numbers would drop . . . not just so we are closer to Easton, but on behalf of those who these numbers represent . . . the amazing little ones waiting for a forever family!

People have been asking how we are doing in the wait.  Honestly, we're at a good place.  

One, we certainly aren't just sitting around while we wait . . . our two littles keep us plenty busy so there isn't much time to dwell on the fact that Easton isn't here yet.

Two, we are intentionally trying to trust in the sovereignty and perfect timing of God.  When the time is right, we'll get the call.  Simple as that.  Worrying about it won't do anything to help us in the meantime.  That isn't to say that we aren't waiting with anticipation and excitement, because we definitely are.  There is an ache for our son and the hope of meeting him soon, but it isn't filled with anxiety or frustration, instead it is a peace that surpasses understanding . . . thank you Jesus!

So we're good.  But please don't stop asking.  It encourages our hearts to know that others are just as excited about Easton as we are!

So in anticipation that October will be a crazy month of referrals and with hope that we'll be in double digits soon . . . 

I'm giving away an adoption t-shirt!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment on the blog.  But don't leave me bored . . . tell me something fun or an encouraging word for our wait or a prayer for Easton . . . it won't give you a better chance to win, but it will make my heart happy! :)

The only bad news is that I only have sizes Large, Extra Large, and 2X.  But even if that isn't your size, you can still enter to win and then have a fun prize to give away!

I'll announce the winner on Thursday afternoon!  Thanks for walking this journey with us!

New Orleans Favorites

Last weekend we took the kiddos to experience a few New Orleans favorites!

Chad and I had been talking of how ashamed we were that Ava is 4 and had yet to ride on a NOLA streetcar.  We put it on the "Things to do on Chad's day off" list!

Last Saturday our great friend Leah Brown was in town and came by the house to catch up for a bit.  Leah was a member of Edgewater for years while she lived in New Orleans and we were blessed to send her out several years ago as a missionary to Bolivia.  Leah is in the States until January when she will head to Peru to  continue making disciples of all nations.

We asked Leah her plans for the night and she confessed that she really wanted to go eat at Camellia Grill and ride a streetcar, but she hated to go alone.  It took about two seconds for us to change our plans and jump on the chance to hang out with Leah AND take our kiddos to experience some of our favorites!

I was shocked that on a beautiful Saturday night we were able to walk right in to Camellia Grill because the line is usually far out the door.  This yummy place exudes true NOLA character . . . our waiter has been working there for 19 years and all the staff refer to everyone who walks in as "baby."

Grayson really wanted to be in daddy's lap and be done with pictures!

After our delicious dinner, we hopped right on the St. Charles street car.  The kids LOVED it!  Ava spend the ride trying to decide which house she liked best . . . the $4 million or the $5 million?!  Grayson enjoyed waving out the window to everyone who looked his way!

We are so blessed that God has planted us in this amazing city.  What a treat to enjoy a few of our favorites with one of our favorite people!

Outrage

When Americans get fired up, we (as a whole) get loud and persistent and a little crazy until things change.

Most of America has been in a complete outrage the last few weeks about the replacement refs in the NFL.  But look what happened . . . the outcry resulted in a deal being made and the referee drama should finally be over.

So now what America?  What will be the new thing to fan the fires of our outrage? (Because we all know that there has to be something we're all hollering about!)


I've got an idea . . . Sex Trafficking.

Can we get some outrage going on about the global crisis of human sex trafficking?  And I'm not just talking about what many think goes on only overseas.  I'm talking about here in the US, in your town, down the street, right next door.

If your only frame of reference to trafficking is the movie Taken, then you might think this is a far away threat.  Not so.  Take a minute to read this article from USA Today.  Even if you think you know, please still read it.  It reveals the shocking reality that this evil is all around us and is only getting bigger.


Trafficking statistics are hard to come by, but let me give you a few that will make your heart drop to the floor.

• Human trafficking is the 2nd largest criminal industry in the world and will probably surpass the drug industry soon.  Why?  Because you can sell drugs once, but you can sell a person over and over and over again.

• Every year nearly 2 million children are exploited in the global commercial sex trade.  

• US citizens account for 25% of sex tourists worldwide.  The #1 destination for sex tourism is the United States.

• 55% of child pornography originates from the US.  Pornography is a causal factor for trafficking.

• Around 80% of human trafficking victims are women and girls and up to 50% are minors.

• The average age of entry into prostitution is 12 years old.  TWELVE.

• A child/teenager who runs away or is left on the streets will be approached within 48 hours to be lured into prostitution.  (What if the Church could get to them within 24?)

• Atlanta is a major hub for trafficking with an estimated 500 minor girls trafficked there each month.  The average age of these girls is 14.  The average life expectancy after being trafficked is 7 years.  Young girls dead by 21 and this is happening right where we live.  7200 men are served by these girls each month.  Men can order a girl online, fly to ATL, have sex with a child, and be back home in time for dinner with their family.  Unimaginable, but happening every day.

This is worth outrage.  There are at minimum 100,000 children trafficked in the US each year and most would say that number is much too low for what is the reality in our nation.

President Obama spoke strong this week about trafficking and new initiatives to address this crisis.  Praise God that it is definitely gaining more attention because these  women children need people to see them, to fight for them, to rescue them, and to help them heal.  

Outraged?  Here are a few things you can do . . .

• Memorize this number.  1.888.3737.888.  This is the phone number to the National Human Trafficking Resource Center.  If you suspect that someone is being trafficked, this is who you call.  They will connect you to local resources and will know the best way to get that person help.  You can pass this number on discreetly to someone you fear is in danger so they have a way to get help.

• Get educated about signs of trafficking.  Are they always accompanied by a controlling person?  Do they have lack of control over money, documents, schedule?  Are they unable to come and go freely? Do they have to ask permission to eat, sleep, leave?  Are they being threatened?  Do they show signs of abuse, depression, anxiety, fear?  

• Be aware in your everyday life.  I told Ava just yesterday that if she ever got lost from me that she should find a mommy with little kids to ask for help.  Why?  Because mommies (at least most) love kids and will get all "Mama Bear" to protect a child, even one who isn't their own.  So let's have our "Mama Bear" eyes and ears on when we are out and about.  Look for these signs.  Look deeper.  Notice children at the park, at school, at the airport, at the bus station.  Let's notice and take action before they are quickly lured away.

• We don't want to be afraid of our own shadow (or teach our kids to be), but there is just no way around the fact that you can't trust people like you used to.  Be overly cautious about your kids playing at a friend's house, going to a sleepover, even hanging out at a public place.  Just like that article mentioned, pimps and traffickers are smart . . . they go where they have easy access to vulnerable kids.  They don't always look big and scary, in fact most often they will be very seductive and say the things that a lonely child is longing to hear. I heard of a young girl who wanted to nanny in New York.  Her parents even skyped with the family before she moved up there.  As soon as she got to the house she realized it was a scam, but it was too late.  She was trafficked around the US for years before she was able to escape.  But she wasn't the same . . . even her freedom couldn't undo the trauma to her body, mind, and heart.  Maybe her parents could have done more, but it just shows you the elaborate schemes and just how far traffickers will go to get a girl to sell.  

• Get informed.  Here are a few websites with great education about trafficking as well as ways that you can practically support the fight against trafficking.
• www.polarisproject.org
• www.sharedhope.org
• www.freedomnetworkusa.org
• www.ijm.org

• Get involved.  Find out if there are ministries or projects in your city that are fighting trafficking and jump right in.  For the last 3 years, I've been a part of a ministry reaching out to the men and women in the sex industry specifically on Bourbon Street.  We are currently planning our efforts to combat trafficking during the three weeks when New Orleans will host the Super Bowl AND Mardi Gras.  There will be thousands of girls brought into the city for these events and we want to be ready to put help within reach of as many girls as possible.  Groups like ours can always use more help . . . prayers, financial, or hands-on.  

• Pray.  This is much more than just a fight against pimps.  This is a spiritual battle that is raging and our greatest stance is to be on our knees before our God and Savior.  

The NFL is back in business.  Outrage in full force = mission accomplished.

So now let's get outraged about trafficking.  Let's show these pimps that we will not stand for this evil any longer.  Let's show these women and children that they deserve more outrage than a halftime score.

"O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; 

you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear 

to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, 

so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more."

Psalm 10:17-18

Minivan Mama

Yep.  I'm a minivan mama!  I couldn't be more excited and sure never thought that would be the case!

We've been cruising in our new van for a little over a week and LOVE it!  Ava still talks about how awesome it is each time we get in and we have uttered many prayers of thanksgiving for God's amazing gift to our family.

(So much love for the new van Grayson just had to give it a hug!)

Our new van proclaims that God provides in ways that only He can get the credit.  We are so thankful for my cousins for their generous gift and are even more thankful that they themselves give all the glory to God!

Our new van is also a daily reminder that there is room for more.  We wait expectantly for Easton to be part of our family . . . not with anxiety, because we trust in God's timing, but with such excitement for God's good plans for our family and our new son.  Oh man I can't wait to get another carseat and have another sweet little face smiling back at me in the rearview mirror!  (And Chad has been quick to point out that even after Easton is home we now have room for 2 more! Only the Lord knows about that one!)

The van is amazing.  The travel to get the van was not.

My cousins who gave us the van live outside of Nashville.  We had already planned a trip up there to see them and attend the Empowered to Connect conference.  The details worked out perfectly for us to visit them and bring back the van, but we hated to have to drive home in two cars.

Solution = Megabus.

The Megabus is amazing really.  It goes to many cities and is ridiculously cheap.  Chad and I both got from New Orleans to Nashville for $30.  Not $30 each.  $30 total.  You can't get down the road without using that much in gas these days!

Megabus seemed like the perfect solution.  We ride a bus together there and drive our van home together.  Sounds all rosy and snuggly, right?  Wrong.

Our bus ride from New Orleans to Atlanta was from 9:30 pm to 7:30 am.  I obviously knew this, but talked myself into the fact that it would be an "adventure" for us, great bonding time, blah blah blah.

The bus was full.  The wifi wasn't working so we couldn't watch movies like we'd planned.  And for the love of all that is good, I just can't sleep in anything but a bed.  That little 2 inch reclining does nothing for me.  I had ear plugs, an eye mask, a pillow, and my Louisiana Tech blanket that I never leave home without.  And I still barely got 2 hours of sleep on that never ending ride.

Not to mention that every time I would start to doze off, I would jump up in a panic when I heard the bus make a noise because I was just sure that our driver would be dozing off too. (I had to sit up half the night keeping a bus driver awake on a college trip to Glorieta and I've evidently been scarred for life.)

Chad did a little better and got maybe 4 hours of sleep, but you wouldn't have known it.  When we got to Atlanta, Chad woke up quite delirious and kept talking about how he couldn't see right.  I'm like "Yea, yea.  Just keep moving and get me off this bus."  We waited for them to unload the luggage and as Chad grabs our suitcase he swung it around and literally knocked over 4 other suitcases and almost sideswiped an innocent bystander.  I'm picking up suitcases and looking at Chad like everyone else . . . "Are you crazy?"

We walk down the road a bit before Chad realizes that he's left his phone on the bus.  Thankfully it hadn't left yet, but as he runs back up to me, I'm like, "Chad you better snap out of it and get yourself together.  We are in the middle of an overpass in downtown Atlanta and I need you to be able to think!"  If that hadn't worked, there is a good chance he would've gotten a slap in the face. :)

Middle of an overpass?  Yeah, that's another fun part of this adventure.  Megabus is so cheap because they have no bus stations.  You literally get dropped off on the side of the road.  No address, just an intersection. And in downtown Atlanta, it just so happens to be in the middle of an interstate overpass.

So there we are . . . exhausted, hungry, in desperate need of coffee, and pulling our luggage behind us as we wander through downtown.  Sensing that we clearly needed help, a security guard kindly guided us to a cafe where we fueled up (and brushed our teeth in the bathroom).  We found a little courtyard to read our Bibles until we had to be back at the overpass to get on our bus to Nashville (I stared at the same words like a zombie and then just gave up).

The Nashville trip wasn't near as bad, but I was D.O.N.E. by the time we got there!  I so wish I was a better traveler, but it just hasn't happened yet.  :)

Even with all the adventure in getting there, our time in Nashville was incredible.  We loved getting to spend time with our family.  And the conference was life changing.  Too much to put into words.

And let me tell you . . . the ride home in our new van was like a ride in luxury compared to what it took to get there!

 Letting Ava and Grayson check out the new ride for the first time!

Testing out the buttons!

My two cuties with SO much room!  Ava asks daily if she can play in the van . . . it's like a playground in there!

Ashton

5 years ago yesterday, Chad welcomed everyone who walked into Edgewater with the news that he was going to be a daddy.  To say he was excited is an understatement!

We had known for about a month, but had been keeping our big news a secret until we could tell our family. The weekend before, we flew up to Kansas and surprised my parents and brother with news that a little one would be joining our family in April!  Precious, precious moments that I will cherish forever!

We told Chad's family as soon as we got back into town.  We immediately realized that it was time to go public when Chad's mom told our waitress at dinner that she was going to be a grandma . . . there was going to be no keeping this a secret for much longer! :)

That week was filled with some of the most joy-filled conversations I had ever had!  News of a baby is just pure joy and we were swimming in it.  So that Sunday at church was just the icing on the cake . . . telling our faith family and having them share in our joy was priceless.

But 5 years ago today, our joy turned to despair as we learned that our little one was gone.

We went for my first doctor appointment, saw the first picture of our first baby, but didn't see the heartbeat we longed for.  I was 9 weeks, but our little love had stopped growing at 7 weeks.

There just aren't words to describe what we went through that day and the days that followed.  Pure heartbreak.

The next 2 weeks were miserable, painful, and exhausting in every possible way.

But God was near.  Chad and I held on to each other and tried desperately to help one another cling to God.  Our Edgewater family truly were the hands and feet of Jesus as they loved, served, cared, and prayed for us.

About a month after the miscarriage, we went to Galveston, just the two of us, for a week-long getaway.  We slept.  We cried.  We watched an unhealthy amount of LOST.  We cried some more.

We took long walks on the most gorgeous deserted beach.

And for the first time in my life I flat out wrestled with God.

I boldly asked Him all my questions.  I gave Him the full force of my anger and hurt.

But just like David after he cried out to God with questions in Psalm 13, I ended this way . . .

But I trust in your unfailing love; 

My heart rejoices in your salvation. 

I will sing the Lord's praise, 

for He has been good to me.

I can't believe that it has been 5 years.  I look back and see nothing but God's faithfulness and grace.  He has healed our hearts from the pain that was so raw and overwhelming.

But healing is not forgetting.

His name is Ashton.  Named after his Daddy.  

And today I went through the memory box we created with all the cards, emails, prizes, and keepsakes from those months.  I cried tears of loss, but also gratitude.  

I'm amazed that anything of my weak faith was even left after the trauma of Ashton's loss.  I was not the woman then that I am now.  I didn't feast on God's Word daily or even consistently.  I didn't take each Word in the morning as my daily Bread.  God was so gracious to one so weak and lukewarm.

His grace sustained me and has drawn me into depths with Him that I couldn't have imagined then.  He has heaped blessing upon blessing on our lives . . . two amazing kiddos and hearts waiting for another.  

In fact, exactly a year after we sat on our couch and sobbed over the fresh news of our loss, we sat on that same couch for the first time holding our precious 10 day old daughter.  

Beauty from ashes.  Joy from mourning.  Life from death.  Isn't that God's way?

This morning as Chad and I prayed, remembering the darkness of grief and still aching for our son, God again reminded us of His sovereignty and faithfulness.  

Ava heard the garbage truck and came flying out of her room.  We smiled as we listened to the pitter patter of feet that wouldn't have been a part of our lives had it not been for Ashton's feet only knowing the streets of heaven. 

Today I grieve and give thanks to the One who is Creator, Sovereign, and Good. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;

make known his deeds among the peoples!

Sing to him, sing praises to him;

tell of all his wondrous works!

Glory in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!

Seek the Lord and his strength;

seek his presence continually!

Psalm 105:1-4