Newness: Blog Design and Waitlist Number

So . . . whatcha think?

{If you love it, feel free to comment.  If you don't, it won't build me up in any way to know that.  Just sayin'!  I've been shocked, especially this week on facebook, at the things people will say online . . . like they aren't actually talking to a real person with feelings.  So let's just share happy thoughts, okay!}

I really love the new look.  I'm so blog/web/design illiterate . . . as you probably noticed from the state of my blog previously {I could never figure out how to get our family picture to be less than ginormous.  That's why I had a picture in the header from before Grayson even turned 1.  I tried a few times to change it, but everything I did made it look worse.  Pitiful.}

So I enlisted the help of Leigh, an adoptive mama who I "met" through our agency facebook group who has a blog design business (The Crazy Cocoon).  Leigh also donates 15% of the profits to help a family fundraising for an adoption.  A good looking blog {finally!} and helping a family bring a little one home . . . can't think of a better way to spend the last of my birthday money!  

Leigh did such a great job . . . she listened to what I wanted, did a lot of design options, was patient with me as I realized that I really had no clue what I wanted, and then created what you see now when I finally just told her to quit listening to me and make something beautiful! 

If you have been thinking of getting a new look for your blog or starting one, I would highly recommend getting Leigh to help you bring it all together!

Speaking of new, we got our new waitlist number for March . . .

 

 Yep, #90.  

And by the way, that is a big fat lie.  

I don't love the 90's.  We've been in the 90's since our November update.  I'm praying that next month we'll finally be out of the 90's.  I might even throw a party.  We can dress up in 90's garb, listen to "oldies", and celebrating leaving them behind! :)

I don't say this often enough . . . thanks.  

Thank you to everyone who prays for our sweet Easton and for our family while we wait.  

Thank you to those who ask for updates or about how we're doing in the wait.  It can be hard to answer when waiting stinks and there is no news to share, but we still really appreciate when we know you remember and care.  

Thank you for still sporting our adoption t-shirts and hopefully sharing about God's heart for orphans and more importantly sharing about the adoption available for the children God created and loves  through Jesus' life, death, and resurrection.

Thank you.

Overcome

Hello there.  Good to see you again. :)

Other than a few adoption waitlist number updates, it has been quite a while since I've written.  Wondering why?

Full disclosure . . . I'm prideful.  

And unfortunately I found that this blog was fanning the flames of pride in my heart.  I found myself more and more concerned with what people said, what people didn't say, criticism I would receive, likes, shares, comments . . . you get the idea.  Even when I shared a good Word from a sincere heart, my mind would quickly detour into self-centered thoughts.

So I've stepped back the last few months.  Originally I thought I should just walk away from opportunities for pride to reign, including the blog.  But God gently reminded me that there will always be opportunities for me to want my name exalted over His or moments when I will want to steal the praise that He alone is due.

I'm not just to flee pride, but to walk in humility.

Even still, the break has been good for me.  Now this doesn't mean that I've kept my mouth shut these past few months!  I've just embraced and been more intentional in the avenues that God has already given me to encourage and challenge through His Word . . . Sunday School, Inward, the lady I disciple, Life Group, and friendships.

The thing about these opportunities is that these people SEE me.  They don't just see the online version where only selective thoughts are verbalized {even though I've tried to be real about my struggles, I know there is always that feeling of not seeing the full picture . . . because you aren't!}.  They see and hear of my struggles, they hear my confessions, they walk with me in ministry, they study the Word with me.  There isn't a whole lot of room for pride, when people see the real you.

So I've embraced these relationships. I've shared the Word and what God has been teaching me.  And God has protected me from my pride and enabled me to do it with humility {I promise I'm not being prideful in saying that!}.  I've prayed for God to be glorified, I've felt a fire in my heart because His Word is powerful and true, I've exalted His work by the Spirit, and I've worshiped with gratitude that He would use me at all.  It has been good . . . transformation hurts at times, but is always good.

But today I feel comfortable sharing with you how God overwhelmed me with Truth this morning.  And I pray as I type that the Spirit would encourage and challenge your heart in a way that only He gets the credit!

For years and years daily time in God's Word was inconsistent at its best and downright neglected at its worst.  But I've had a couple of revivals of the heart in the last few years that have changed me.

Two years ago God graciously gave me a strong desire to be in His Word.  At the same time He gave Chad a renewed desire to lead me spiritually by making sure I had the time to be in the Word {meaning that He gave Chad the courage to wake me up way earlier than I wanted to have my eyes open . . . such love!}.  That discipline of daily time dramatically changed me, changed us.  

Then, just a few weeks ago, God began another revival in my heart.  Not just a little revival.  Like a big Gospel tent revival with a hollering preacher!  His name is Paul and his God-inspired words to Timothy have brought me to my knees at the alter over and over again.

What is so great that it is changing me?  Hold on to your seats . . .

The Gospel.

Shocker, right?!  Seriously though, I am so saddened to say that reflecting on the Gospel has never before been part of my daily discipline.  Even as I've been more consistent in the Word these last few years, I've not always meditated on the Gospel.

But for the past two weeks I have daily thought, prayed, and studied the Gospel and it is changing me.  Listen to Paul's words in 1 Timothy 1:12-17 . . .

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent.  But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.  But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

The same Gospel that transformed Paul has transformed me and I hope it has transformed you.  It is all grace.  Apart from Christ we are all enemies of God, slaves to sin, dead.  We deserved separation from God forever, BUT God, in mercy and great love, did something about it.  He did what we could never do for ourselves. God the Son came to save.

And do you see what this recounting of his salvation produced in Paul?  WORSHIP!  It's like he bursts out in song at the end, overcome by God's great grace.  It has produced the same in me.  I've worshiped and prayed with a gratitude I've never known simply because I'm keenly aware of my great need.

Then again in 1 Timothy 2 . . .

 . . . God our Savior, who desires for all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all . . .

This is what I taught this morning so I've been studying it all week.  

So. Incredibly. Powerful.  It truly is amazing grace. 

After teaching and digging into the majesty of the Gospel, my heart was already so full as I came to corporate worship.  We were singing "Worthy is the Lamb" . . .

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne.
We crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious!
High and lifted up
Jesus, Son of God.
The darling of Heaven, crucified... 

Worthy is the Lamb.

Thank you for the cross, Lord.
Thank you for the price you paid.
Bearing all my sin and shame, in love you came
And gave Amazing Grace.

Thank you for the scars, Lord.
Thank you for the nail-pierced hands.
Wash me in Your cleansing flow, now all I know...
Your forgiveness and embrace.

I was praying the song until we got to the end of verse 2 and then I was completely overcome and sobbing on the floor.

The truth of the Gospel is that I deserve God's wrath.  He would be absolutely just to pour out that cup on me.  It is what I'm due for my rebellion and sin.

But because of the Cross, I will never know that wrath.  I will only know His forgiveness and embrace.

I'm undone.

His grace is radical.  The Cross is gruesome and glorious.

It is my only hope.  Is it yours?

January Adoption Update

We're starting 2013 down 31 spots from when we got on the waitlist in July!

This month we are number

But here's another number . . .

7

We've now been on the waitlist for Easton for 7 months.  It seems to have flown by and crept by all at the same time.  Not sure how that works, but it's true.

In reality, this month makes a year and a half since we first started the adoption process.  Now that seems like FOREVER . . . especially since we have no idea how long of a wait we still have ahead of us.  

I've meant it when I've said that we aren't waiting in turmoil.  We know God's timing will be perfect so there is a trust and peace that comes with that truth.  

But waiting is still waiting.  You'd rather have it now . . . especially when you are waiting on your son.  

But if embraced, waiting can be a very profound time.  A time of growth and preparation and joy and learning and savoring each moment .  

Most of all, it can be a time with countless opportunities for proclaiming the Gospel  . . . 

My King knows best and so I will trust in His plans. 

My Savior is worth any heartache experienced as we walk in obedience.

My God will not leave me for one moment while I wait and will give me the strength to wait well.

My Teacher will open the Word to me in new ways through this process and I will see treasures about who He is like never before.

My Refiner will mold me into His likeness through the fears, the grief, the anticipation, the doubt, the anxiety . . . and then the returning to Him as my Rock and Sure Foundation.

Why do we adopt?  Because my Father adopted me through the sacrifice of His Son . . . the Gospel.

I wish I could say I've lived the past year and a half embracing the wait, but I'd be lying. But more often than not . . . and unfortunately there is still more time to grow. :)

So what do I do while we wait?  Enjoy the blessings God has already given me!

Christmas Pressure

 After 2 months of at least one person in our family being sick, BAM . . . it's Christmas.

All my grand hopes of a Christmas in the Oaks, the Jesse Tree advent journey, sweet notes in our stockings . . . not a single one happened.  I somehow managed to get all the prizes purchased and even got them wrapped a whole 24 hours before we were leaving town!  My attitude was "It is what it is" but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed about how fast Christmas had come upon us and how we hadn't celebrated like I would have hoped.

We headed to my parent's house on Sunday after church . . . the van packed full, two kiddos, and sweet Tilly.  C.R.A.Z.Y.  

We'd had a bit of a rough first week with Tilly.  She is a puppy and we quickly discovered that puppies and toddlers don't mesh so well together.  Grayson had scratches all over his face from her pouncing on him when he fell down.  It only took one time for Tilly to nip at Ava's heels for her to declare that she did not want to be around Tilly.  

Great.  One kid is screaming for her life and the other is bleeding.  Not exactly how I pictured this.

And on top of this, we have to load Tilly in the car for a 6 hour ride and then try to keep potty training her while we are at my parent's house.  

All of this mess added up to a good amount of stress for me and Chad.  And because that just wasn't enough, Chad started feeling sick almost as soon as we got to my parent's house.  Bleh!

But God is good . . .

Tilly did so incredibly amazing on the trip and was so much fun for our whole family.  Chad sat the kids down and told them that Tilly needed to learn to obey them too.  Apparently all Ava needed was a little authority!  She has gotten so brave and comfortable around Tilly and is now a master at getting her to sit!  And Grayson quickly learned that he is stronger than Tilly {for now} and can push her off of him.  The tables have turned and now Tilly does a fair amount of running from our wild man!

So the stress with Tilly was gone, but we still felt this pressure and guilt about how we had failed to celebrate Christ's birth well.  

At one point on Christmas Day {when the excitement had died down and it was obvious that Chad felt horrible} Chad and I looked at each other and knew we were thinking the same thing . . . 

We've failed.  I mean, for the love, we haven't even read Luke 2.

But as I felt the weight of shame and could see the guilt in Chad's eyes, God gave me the words that both of us needed to hear.

We celebrate Jesus' birth, life, death, burial, and resurrection every day.  {Or at least that is our desire . . . we sure aren't perfect!}  We don't need to feel the pressure to have it all big and monumental on December 25th . . . like our kids won't ever know Jesus unless we get it right in that one 24 hour window.  

So I thanked Chad for being the spiritual leader of our home and our faith family, for pointing me and the kids to Christ EVERY day, and for constantly proclaiming with his words and life that we all need Jesus.

Whew.  The burden was gone.  No more guilt and shame.  

They were replaced with joy and gratitude that God the Son entered in to our mess to rescue sinners like you and me.  

Emmanuel.  God with us.  

Jesus has come and He's coming back again!

Oh the grace.

We went on to have a fabulous week with my parents, Clay and Kylee.  We then went to Lafayette for a quick Christmas celebration with Chad's family.  We are so blessed!

Here's a few of my favorites pics from the trip . . .

Sweet Tilly stayed just like this for most of our trip.  Our girl LOVES to be cuddle up next to someone!  

Just like we dreamed {finally} . . . the kids love her so much!

Old house phone from Papa T and Lili = the most treasured addition to my girl's "office" in her room!

Chad and I got Ava her first full Bible.  The first thing she asked to look up was Luke 2.  Real funny God!

The best prize of the year goes to Clay . . . he got Grayson a bike helmet.  Which Grayson wanted to wear at. all. times.  Safety first!  You never know when playing with blocks will get out of hand. :)

Or watching a movie . . . that is some dangerous stuff right there!

Chad's parents got Grayson a bike to go along with his new helmet!  It's a little big for now, but Ava has been doing great on it!

Who knew Paw Paw was so creative?!  Chad's dad made this veterinary office for Ava to play with when we visit.  You can see that her new phone quickly found it's place at her desk!

Paw Paw and Uncle Jacob loved their custom crab shell ornaments!

Such a great family pic!

Sweet Penny reading the books we got her!

We had a great time, but it was sure nice to get home and get back into our normal routine {whatever that is!}.  

So what about y'all?  Did anyone else feel the Christmas pressure?  How do you celebrating with joy without stressing out?

December Waitlist Number

Happy New Year!

I've given up on New Year's resolutions because I fail miserably every time.  That's not to say that I don't have goals {I'd like to lose 9 to 14 lbs, but who's counting?}, but I'm done with setting up rigid parameters and unreal expectations for myself that just leave me defeated.

I did ask the Lord for a Word this morning regarding 2013 and as a Father delights to answer His daughter, God spoke.  I want to share, but I'm still processing so that will have to be for another day!

One great hope that I do have for 2013 is to be united with Easton.  Oh how I pray that I will see my son's face in the coming months.   I long to hold him in my arms.  I can't wait to bring him to his home.  My heart aches to see Ava and Grayson welcome him into our family and love him dearly.  I want to see him bond with his Daddy.  And I so look forward to how God will use Easton's life for His glory!

You know what I would really love?  To celebrate our 10th anniversary in July with a trip to Ethiopia to bring home our son!  {I won't turn you down if you want to pray this with me!}

Our waitlist number for December is . . .

When you look at the number and the current timelines, all these hopes seem unlikely to be realized this year.  {And if they aren't, I'll be okay because in the end I KNOW that God's timing is perfect.}  

But I'm going to hope and pray anyway that 2013 is the year Easton comes home!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the Gilberts!

You can quit checking the mailbox . . . this post is our Christmas card this year!  The past two months have passed so quickly in a blur of sickness, travel, and busyness so my intentions of mailing out a cute card just didn't happen.  

But I must admit that the main reason you won't have a picture to put on your fridge is that I'm praying we'll be able to send out an adoption announcement soon.  I want a card with our family of five and my sweet Easton's face on your fridge instead!

Highlights from 2012

January . . . Chad and I were blessed to attend a Pastor's Retreat at Winshape Camps for four days and, most amazingly, for FREE.  There aren't words to describe how needed and amazing this time was for our marriage and in ministry.  {As if we needed more reasons to love Chick-fil-A!}

January . . . Chad's mom spent 10 days in the hospital after finding out that she has auto-immune hepatitis that has severely damaged her liver.  It was a scary time for our family, but we are so thankful for God's care for Grammy.  She has had a roller coaster year and is on the liver transplant list, but overall has stabalized.  We continue to pray for God's healing and sustaining power to be on her as she enjoys life with her three grandbabies!

February . . . Cole turns 31!

March . . . I attended Created for Care, an adoption conference just for moms, where I got to hear amazing testimonies from adoptive moms and meet other mamas from our agency {now we aren't just online friends!}.

March . . . God spoke and we obeyed.  We changed our adoption parameters so that we will adopt a son who is HIV positive.  God is already doing mighty things through our Easton!

April . . . Ava and Grayson have a cousin!  Chad's sister, Leigh Ann, had Penelope {Penny} on April 3rd and we have had so much fun loving on that sweet girl!

May . . . We enjoyed fabulous vacation to Florida with my family and Grayson got to experience the beach for the first time . . . not a fan!

June . . . Chad went on a mission trip to Guatemala with members from Edgewater as well as people from other churches in Louisiana.  They served at a malnutrition center for children {lots of fun times with adorable little ones} and shared the Gospel with the locals they met.

July . . . We finally got on AGCI's adoption waitlist!  Now we can watch our number drop each month as we wait to see Easton's face!

July . . . God has provided for our adoption in some major ways, including my cousins giving us their van!  We picked it up in September and are still praising God each time we get in!

July . . . Chad and I celebrated our 9th anniversary!  {I'm praying our 10th will be celebrated in Ethiopia!}

August . . . Chad celebrated 4 years as Pastor of Edgewater!  We are so grateful to God for planting us in a city we love with a faith family we love!

September . . . Ava's 4th birthday and a hurricane evacuation!

September . . . Chad and I went to the Empowered to Connect adoption/parenting conference in Nashville.  

Life. Changing.  

October . . . I continue to do ministry with Inward to men and women in the sex industry on Bourbon Street.  I attended a conference on sex trafficking and shared on the blog about the outrage that should come when we realize what is happening right here in the US.    

October . . . God provides not only for our needs, but also just blesses us with gifts out of His great love!  We had a swing set given to us!

November . . . Chad turns 32!

November . . . Chad and I attended several kindergarten open houses.  I'm still trying to figure out how it is possible that our baby girl will be going to school next year!  We're trusting in God's sovereignty in where Ava should go to school . . . the lottery system in NOLA schools is some kind of C.R.A.Z.Y. :)

December . . . Grayson turns 2!

December . . . We have a new addition to the family . . . Tilly, the cutest little mutt you've ever seen, has been such a joy so far!

2012 can be summed up in one word . . . grace.  

God's grace in our lives is overwhelming, undeserved, and is what we hope to proclaim in all we do and say.

We are especially thankful for His grace during this Christmas season.  Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us . . . What grace that God would become a man to rescue us from sin and provide with His death and resurrection our only hope for salvation and eternal life!

We pray that you will have eyes to see God's grace in your life, hearts of gratitude for what He has done on your behalf in Christ, and an amazing Christmas celebration spent in worship of our King.

"Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."  Luke 2:10-11

Introducing . . .

 Did you freak out for a moment?  That was a little mean of me . . . my bad. ;)

You have no idea how much I would love to write a post introducing our son and showing off pictures of Easton, but introducing this sweet face is the next best thing!

Our newest addition to the Gilbert family is . . .

Tilly

We might be crazy, but we are already in love!  Seriously, how could we not fall head over heels for this cutie?!

Tilly was our Christmas prize for the kids, but the timing of everything meant that they got to open this prize this morning.  I took a video of them opening the box with her inside . . . so precious . . . but something is wrong with my camera/video/computer and I can't get it to upload.  Major frustration.  So these pictures will have to do!

Update!  My amazing friend, Boyd Guy, came over tonight to help me get my videos working again!  So beyond grateful because you will love seeing this video!

Chad started asking for a dog in the Spring, but I firmly said no.  My plan was to wait until Grayson was potty trained, or Easton was home, or until I felt like I wouldn't lose my mind by adding a puppy to the mix.  Obviously none of these have happened (I could very well lose my mind), but here we are with this cutie and even I am really excited.  

Chad, of course, is like a little boy with all his excitement, Grayson just keeps laughing and yelling DOG with absolutely no volume control, and Ava is just thankful that Tilly wants to lay by her and be her friend. {Priceless}

A great friend at our church owns a rock yard business and Chad has been doing a Bible study out there on Tuesday mornings for almost three years.  One of the guys out there had all these puppies, but when Chad would hang out with him, Tilly would crawl in Chad's lap while all the others were jumping around everywhere.  It didn't take long for Chad to start dropping hints, but I was definitely resistant.  After all, nothing on my list has been accomplished. :)

Chad was wearing me down and then sealed the deal by taking all of us out to see the puppies on Grayson's birthday.  Tricky, tricky.  He knew Grayson would just get excited to see dogs and it would be a fun family outing for his birthday.  But Chad also knew that one look at this face and I'd be a goner.  Um . . .Yep. 

So we've spent the last week getting all the stuff that is needed for a puppy. {a friend blessed us with a gift and it literally paid for every dollar we spent on puppy supplies . . . God provides!} I've been googling to try and figure out how on earth you get a puppy trained. {Today has been successful, but I'm not looking forward to going back to newborn stage with middle of the night duty!}  And we've had to make sure our families will be on board for an extra guest for Christmas!

But most of all, we've spent the week anticipating the joy our kids would have when they realized that Tilly is ours.  I think Chad was secretly hoping for the typical movie reaction with the screaming and jumping up and down.  That didn't happen.  What's funny is that the first thing Ava said was, "Remember that movie where there was a puppy in the present?"  I was like, "Yeah Ava. That's happening to you!"  And of course Grayson just squealed and said "DOG" over and over.  Then he kept looking in the empty box.  Seriously kid, I know boxes are exciting, but you've got a D.O.G. right over here! :)

They have been so sweet with her today and Ava is really excited to help take care of her.  We're just hoping Grayson quickly grasps the concept of being gentle and the fact that Tilly does NOT like being hit with plastic golf clubs. 

We chose the name, Tilly, to continue our tradition of New Orleans inspired names for our pets {We had a gecko for 5 years named Beignet!}.  Tilly comes from Gentilly, which is the area of New Orleans that we live in.  The first apartments we lived in when we moved here 8 years ago were also named "The Gentilly."  We tossed around a bunch of NOLA names, but couldn't think of anything else that fit better than Tilly for our sweet girl.  

Just looked at the clock and it is time to go outside for a potty break.  Gotta get myself back in baby mode with this crate training schedule!

{During our outside time the kids discovered the joy of Tilly's nipping.  Ava was screaming in terror when her game of chase turned into Tilly literally nipping at her heels.  And then when I stepped inside to get Tilly her bone, I came back out to her pouncing on a fallen Grayson, which resulted in our first blood.  And it's still day one.  Lord help us!}